• Tue, Dec 3 - 4:40 pm ET

Abused Woman Found Murdered Predicted Death In Horrifying Facebook Status

Michelle Rowling Facebook status on November 25th.

Screenshot: Facebook

Brace yourself for something that will leave you sick to your stomach (an effect that, somewhat surprisingly, still happens to us despite working on the horribly depressing thing we call the Internet). An East St. Louis woman was found stabbed in her apartment this past weekend. And Michelle Rowling, 25, may have actually predicted her own death.

On November 25th, Rowling, a mother of 2, posted a chilling message to her Facebook page: “If anything happens to me tonight just let my kids know I loved them dearly and tell my momma I love her.” On Saturday, just 5 days after writing the status, Rowling was found by police in her home, bleeding from several stab wounds. Despite being rushed to the hospital, she was pronounced DOA.

Now, police are searching for Rowling’s ex-boyfriend Montrell Cooper, also 25. In 2012, Cooper went to jail after stabbing Rowling in the neck, but was only sentenced to a year after Rowling testified on his behalf. According to Rowling’s neighbors, there were “warning signs” prior to Rowling’s murder. Rowling’s relatives say Cooper allegedly murdered Rowling because she was trying to change her life and move on from their relationship.

It goes without saying that we have no idea what happened that night, but if Cooper did kill Rowling, that would be–for lack of a better term–typical. Not typical in the sense that (A) people kill their partners on a regular basis or (B) abuse is, by any means, normal or acceptable, but “typical” in the sense that escalation by abusers is incredibly common. Despite how television and films like Enough (2002) may present partner abuse–as something that occurs very quickly and is offensively simple for the characters to resolve–it is a deeply complex issue muddled by emotion, psychological traumas and, oftentimes, more consequences for the abuse victim upon ending the abuse than the abuser him- or herself. It’s fucked up. Unbelievably fucked up.

Cooper stabbed Rowling in the neck and was sentenced to a year. I repeat: He deliberately, violently stabbed his girlfriend in the fucking neck, then only received 1 year in jail. And he was arrested in August for assaulting Rowling once more–so how is it possible that he was allowed to go free yet again? We live in a country where 3 women every single day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. We know escalation occurs, but the law refuses to punish abusive partners with more than a slap on the wrist and a push out the door. I wish I could leave this post on some hopeful note about how domestic violence laws are changing for the better, but like I said, I feel sick to my stomach about this story and I’m guessing you would see through any attempt at positivity.

[h/t CBS News]

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  • elle

    What horrible, tragic story. Definitely not blaming her with this next section just making that abundantly clear- DV victims are brainwashed by their abusers to think nobody cares/will help them. But there are a ton of comments on that post and if you click over to the gawker article they tell her to call the police but why did none of her friends call the police! I am genuinely curious.

    • DrunkenLush

      Now that is something I am genuinely curious about as well. Why didn’t anyone go be with her, check on her??

    • regina regina

      Speaking as one of the friends who would not have called the police or gone to check on her…I have known three abused women in my 49 years of life. My best friend is being abused now. With every one of those friends, I shoot straight from the hip, I know what’s going on, I know what he’s doing to you and the children. You have three times for me to come, after that, YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN. It’s always the same. I get the first call, I beat it to their home strapped with a .44 and hollow point bullets, dare him to breathe, and wait as she loads up my car with her things and children. I take everyone back to my home and get them settled in for the night. By the time I come home from work, she’s called him, they’ve made up, and she needs me to take her home. Call #2: Same thing only this time he’s called the police on me and they arrive only to find out I have a license and I’m there helping my friend leave that asshole. Call # 3: I remind her that this is her final rescue on my behalf. Make sure that this is what you want to do BEFORE I get in my car. No problem. I arrive to find her and the children standing outside of the house waiting on me. They run to my car in terror of him. We take off. No one gets any sleep that night because he’s busy calling her all night and they’re arguing. This time it takes 4 to 7 days for her to go back to him. In the meantime, they’ve eaten my food, run up my utility bills, destroyed my home, and generally irritated me beyond my comprehension. It never changes, only the people.
      I’m sorry. I’ve tried to help on several ocaccassions with several friends and it’s always the same. ALWAYS.
      By the 4th call, I’m just hanging up the telephone and don’t want to hear it. As I stated before, my best friend is being abused by her boy friend of 11 years and she has MS. I never say anything about the abuse because then she will become defensive about him. This is a man who has given her syphillis on several occassions and herpes. She sighs and says, he doesn’t have anyplace to go. Only once have I said, he obviously does have someplace else to go, he’s no catching this shit from toilet seats.

    • guest

      Do not get pregnant by these abusers. Get tubal ligation if you cannot keep up with birth control pills. Children make the situation worse!!!!

  • Lindsey Conklin

    This is so disturbing!

  • Cee

    Ugh and the victim blaming for this story is rampant because she testified on his behalf.

    As someone who was in a…situation with a violent person, I kept contact with that person longer than i should…on purpose. I did this I was afraid of the consequences of not being on that person’s side. In a way, I hoped he would leave me alone and not hurt me if I was nice to him. I felt that if I did things to anger me, he would hurt me more so I was such a kiss ass, fake friend for a long time with this person.

    These are the complex, irrational…yet rational thoughts a victim of violence has. So fuck all those douchebags blaming her.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      Jesus, I’m so sorry you went through that experience. Fuck. That’s awful. <3

      I think that people (like the commenter above) are genuinely curious about the psychology of abuse victims and why they don't necessarily hate or feel compelled to get away from their abusers. This curiosity is completely understandable because it's a horrifying concept.

      Then there are other people who just think the abuse victims are fucking morons (insert screenshots of every comment thread on a Rihanna/Chris Brown article ever) that don't understand that it's a much more complicated situation. Plus, nobody wants to have to involve legal action–it's expensive and, often times, totally ineffective. And it's stressful. SO stressful. I completely understand why you would feel like being a friend to the person might help–because honestly, trying to go up against somebody who clearly has no regard or respect for other humans is fucking dangerous and scary.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      unfortunately it doesn;t always work.. I tried staying friends and it was worse, he would turn up at places he knew I’d hang out, he’d send photoshopped pictures of me to friends and to make it worse, when he DID eventually break down and apologise for everything, four years later, he then tried to sexually assault me.
      Cos an apology automatically means you get sex…
      I hope to god it works out for others in situations like this because the sheer mental trauma of it is unbearable. You wake up every day wishing you were dead just so you don’t have to feel that sinking in your stomach when you know you’ve “done something wrong”
      That uncontrollable shaking you get in your hands, the spontaneous vomiting… words alone still cannot fully describe the terror you feel.

    • Barbie

      Am there right now except the torture I go through is not physical (well, rarely). It is psychological and mental torture. He is a sociopath and since I own my home and I have a pre nuptial agreement………why should I leave? I need him and his psycho daughter (29 and not working) to leave.He has stolen all my money, my truck, my life by constantly badgering me. I am 65 yrs old and broke. I own a mobile home that is 25 yrs old, a Jeep that is 10 yrs old and the contents of the mobile home. I have had asthma attacks during the time of his badgering (insane nagging), I have had times where I couldn’t breathe and have heart damage because of it. Currently, I have no money and would have to go on welfare and SS. I get SS but he takes most of it and leaves me $45.a month. Do I fight back? Yup, but it’s pointless as my life gets worse when I do that.

      I know what it’s like waking up and wishing I didn’t wake up because I am only in for more torture. I just had emergency surgery that I let go to the last minute (gallbladder) because I was hoping I would die on the table. No such luck, I am still here.. I pray every day that he will have a heart attack and die so I can collect his entire SS check, he weighs about 400 lbs.
      I pray to God all the time to help me . I know you all are thinking “what’s the matter with that woman, why doesn’t she just leave?” Where will I go, I have debilitating spinal problems, should I live in my car?, should I live on the streets?, I have been to Safe Home, I have been to social services, I see a psychiatrist and a Counselor. No one seems to want to help and I can no longer do it alone. Like the woman “gothicgaelicgirl” above, , the mental trauma is unbearable.

      I just hope that someday short of my death, I get peace, where I can live alone with my little dog and not have to see, hear or live with him. But then he wouldn’t hesitate to burn my house down with me and my little dog in it.

    • thinksome1

      Sister, He isn’t the only one with a book of matches. The health and financial issues you mentioned are just everyday problems that you can deal with. You have to get out if you are in misery. Seek pro bono help.

    • none

      HA pro bono help, find that seriously, find it. That is how I was stuck in my situation so long, and in the end his mom still took my kids (fyi for all the judgemental asses, I have NO mental/drug/alchohal problems) but my abusive ex and his insane mom have my kids because I was poor.

    • Nena

      Time to walk away or better yet RUN do not walk leave town or better yet the state…call the cops after you leave have someone you know sell the place and send you the money. DO IT! I grew up in a violent home and swore I would never again be tormented! I now live in a better state and a better state of mine.

    • beenthere donethat

      So don’t stay with friends and don’t hang out there. Are you stupid?

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      little late to the fuckin party moron

    • Cee

      Ah it is life that just unfortunately happens to fall on some people’s lives when we unknowingly encounter a gravely sick person. But thanks.

      I know some people are curious.. And, sure it is okay to question and to try to understand, particularly if you have not been in such a situation. I get the curiosity of wanting to put yourself in that person’s mind and that is not victim blaming, or at least, I personally don’t see it as such.

      But the whole “well she could have not done x y z and she would not have been beaten, dead or whatever” NO stop right there! Have you read of people getting murdered after filing restraining orders or getting the law involved? It is like a fear of adding fuel to an unpredictable spark, you must sadly at times not only take the abuse, but hug the abuser and soothe that person so you can plan your escape. Its sooo mentally draining.

    • beenthere donethat

      Sorry but the reality is the abused has to change. The abused is powerless to change anyone else. If your happiness is dependent on what OTHER PEOPLE do, YOU will be unhappy.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      Same.. was with him for two years. he did horrendous things, which I still carry scars from all over my body.
      When I tried telling people the first thing they said was- You didn’t have to stay with him…
      Gee, thanks, thank you for making a 16 year old girl feel it was her fault her boyfriend beat seven kinds of crap out of her and burned her… the victim blaming is atrocious

    • obot

      Nobody can help you if you won’t help yourself.

    • thinksome1

      You were living with your boyfriend? What about help from your parents?

    • obot

      What is the judge and law enforcement supposed to do when the victim testifies on behalf of her attacker? You can’t help somebody who won’t help themself

    • Cee

      Go fuck yourself, seriously. You’re a few days late from the discussion and I have never seen you before. It is clear that you just came here to troll. Go back to whatever idiotic site you came from.

    • regina regina

      Cee, this story caught my eye. Unfortunately, this poor baby is dead at the hands of a sick freak, maniac. Unfortunately, her children will be without a mother. These things are all unfortunate. No one can help her anymore. What I would love to see on this feed is information for women who are being abused to safely get out of their abusive situations.
      Instead of everyone arguing, placing blame, and cat fighting, can somebody post names and numbers to organizations that will HELP these women?

    • WoW

      That seems like a completely unneccesary attack from you against someone you probably know nothing about. I agree, if she testified on his behalf after he stabbed her in the neck then what could she really expect in terms of having the system help her from her situation. I understand fear from an abuser but enough is enough, it comes to apoint where you have to be at least somewhat accountable for allowing your life to happen to you instead of making things happen for you. And before you hop back on your obvious high horse of timing, I realize I am coming “late from the discussion” (and by the way it would be “to” the discussion, not “from” it) but I saw the link today to this story so I clicked it and read it. Now why don’t you take your own advice from above

    • beenthere donethat

      Law enforcement needs to ignore the testimony on behalf of abuser bc it is coerced. And the victim has to LEAVE. The abuser is crazy and cannot change so quit expecting them to change. Reality is: NO ONE can control the abuser or change them, there is not enough police to protect the abused, so THEY have to leave and go into hiding in another geographical area. It is not a good option but it is only option. Bad situations only have bad options.

    • regina regina

      I don’t think the author was “victim blaming”, I think they were just stating fact. The victims that do survive blame themselves enough. I took it as, she was still playing the “buddy” game. The real tragedy is she had to. Why? The justice system is not set up to keep these animals behind bars long enough for the victims to get away safely. They know he’ll be released in lightening speed, he’ll be enraged, and he’ll more than likely seek revenge. What is a woman to do but play the game?
      Damnit! That’s what makes me mad as hell!
      I’ve never been a victim of spousal abuse (knock wood) but I’ve had a man raise his hand to me.
      I’ve been in a dangerous situation where a “date” attempted to kiss me even after I resisted. I blanked out while choking him to the point where his eyes bugged out and he almost lost conciousness. I’m violently allergic to pain. What can I tell you.

    • thinksome1

      Did you ever think about providing yourself with some kind of protection and then telling him to go fly a kite? Sounds like you were in a similar situation to the dead girl. Maybe you just got lucky.

  • DrunkenLush

    After repeated abuse in 2010, I had had enough, and called the police on my now ex-husband. What followed was fear. Fear of everything. Once he was bailed out of jail I lived my life in fear. I moved to an apartment I could afford and never opened the blinds because he was nearby. He never violated his no-contact order, but fought me in court against the restraining order I wanted on him.

    You see, domestic violence is real, and instead of blaming the victim for what she had done, people should educate themselves on WHY victims go back to these relationships. There are always outside sources who are trying to make it so it’s hard for those to leave their relationships. I had an ex- Brother- in-law who subtly threatened me to “play nice” with this after he bailed my ex out of jail. STOP LAYING BLAME ON THE VICTIMS. until you have been in this situation, you cannot even begin to understand.

  • Swoll Guns

    My deepest condolences to her and her family, and especially the kids . This is a tough one to analyze, so many factors. It’s obvious she was afraid when she testified in his behalf. Did she have family?, were they local or remote, if she did? Not that it matters at this point but, was he the father of the children? It’s a shame, especially since she was getting her life in order. look, nowadays selecting a mate is serious, because of the economic climate that some people can’t handle. At the first red flag, before emotions become entrenched, END IT!! We’ve had too many of these abuses and murders, can’t risk it these days, END IT!! I wonder if she could have reached out to some agency. Sad, sad, sad. I wonder how traumatic this will be on the kids. Were they present? I hope they were sleep at the time, and that would be really horrible. Nothing is good about this. I hope family Is available for the kids. There’s more that be said but this is too tough to expound on. R.I.P. Michelle.

  • anna

    The worst part is it’s not like she just magically had a feeling and predicted it. She knew she was in serious danger, and no one apparently did anything about it.

    • BBJim’s Mam

      SHE should have done some thing about it. It is impossible to protect some one who doesn’t want to be protected. It hurts to watch them keep going back again and again, but short of unlawful imprisonment there is nothing anyone but the courts could have done.

    • May

      I guess that means you’re happy she’s dead.

    • BBJim’s Mam

      I guess that means you’re mad that I got out before my ex killed me too?

    • thinksome1

      No, you did what everybody is saying to do. Leave before it is too late. You did what needed to be done, and got the hell away from him. Along with providing yourself protection to provide an equalizer, that is THE solution. Not a bad idea to document with all authories what is going on, file charges, etc., but it is your life and your problem and YOU HAVE TO deal with it.

    • obot

      I guess you feel that women shouldn’t defend themselves or press charges against their attackers

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      you’re disgusting… unless you’ve been in that situation, you have no right to say what she should have done.
      It’s not just physical violence- It’s psychological as well.
      My ex had me so terrified in high school that I used to text him to ask permission to pee!
      They break you, not just your bones, your spirit, your mind. The world fades into a grey void where you feel lost and dead.
      And trust me, saying she should have done something, is cowardly.
      I would never wish what I and many other people go through on anyone else but good god, have some sympathy.
      It’s a LOT easier to say “break it off” than do it.
      What do you do if he threatens to kill you? Burn you to death? What if his family are police or military? what then?

    • BBJim’s Mam

      As a matter of fact I was in that situation. I’m not any more. My sister was also in that situation. I called the cops for her, multiple times. It just wasted police time because she wouldn’t press charges. What should I have done to save her? What should this woman’s family and friends have done? How is this their fault?

    • obot

      Tell me what the police or judges were supposed to do

    • Name

      Buy a Gun or Tell UR DAD He’ll know what to DO.

    • WoW

      Keep coming up with these excuses, you can end up just like this poor girl did, leaving behind motherless children and grieving loved ones wondering why you never had the courage or good sense to get help and leave. Eventually you have to accept some of the responsibility for allowing your life to be the way that it is and not doing anything about it

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      You’re quite an insensitive unsympathetic sack aren’t you?
      God help if anyone wanted help from you

  • Alvin Anderson

    Did she try to keep their relationship going despite the violence? It’s an unfortunate cycle where abused partners return to the abusers, no matter what. How many women say the eternal “But I love him” before they are finally killed. Very sad. I grew up in a home where it went on. Poor kids–they are scarred for life. There’s many programs to help women or people stuck in that cycle.

    • AugustW

      You can love someone who is fatally bad for you. It’s unfortunate but it happens often.

      ETA: Totally responded to the wrong person. Sorry.

    • regina regina

      Let me say this one more time, LOVE AND PAIN DO NOT GO HAND IN HAND! When you are in love you are not supposed to feel emotional, physical or psychological pain EVER! Please, please, please, everyone, STOP CALLING IT LOVE! It is control. That is all it is, CONTROL!

  • Just call me “That Chick”

    Well I’m going to be honest and if I hurt someone’s feelings..Not my problem. Now, I’ve been in an abusive relationship and I know when a man is kicking my ass that aint love. Why would she testify for a man that damn near killed her when he stabbed her in the neck! Has anyone ever stopped to think had she ass not testified for him he would have gotten more time! I’m sorry but I can not feel sympathy for someone who did nothing to protect herself or her children! All she had to do was inform people that the dude was out of jail and she could have had people there with her! Like the saying goes..WARNING COMES BEFORE DESTRUCTION! SHE WAS WARNED HE WAS OUT OF JAIL SHE SHOULD HAVE GOT THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!

    • Hilda Orduno

      So easy to say what she should have done. Not everybody is brave enough or feels good enough to leave. My best friend was in an abusive marriage for 22 YEARS. She is smart, well educated has a very high profile job and yet she was afraid if she left he would kill her dad like he often promised. She suffered all kinds of broken bones, hospitalized numberous times and yet he never went to jail becuase he was a COP. When her dad finally passed away she left and NEVER looked back, she has been divorced from t his animal more than 20 years and yet she has NEVER trusted another man. THe damage is quite deep and lasting.

    • thinksome1

      If someone threatened to kill my father, i would feel justified in anything necessary to ensure that could not happen. She was not smart.

    • WoW

      I’m sorry to say so but she doen’t sound well educated or intelligent at all, she sounds ignorant

  • Veta

    Just thinking, if she knew that was coming, why didn’t she try every conceivable step necessary to protect herself? Why didn’t she RUN to get herself a gun, or at least a pepper spray? As dumb and lazy as I am I would definitely feel jolted to do things like that. Not melancholically post on facebook.

  • Mary Miller

    The fact is MOST abused women stick up for their abusers. There is a need to remove them from the equation. They do not get to testify beyond what happened. Police reports need to outweigh victim statements. The actions of the perpetrator must be weighed alone again with no victim impact statement if the battered partner is attempting to defend the actions. when Police arrive on the scene if there is evidence of abuse the abusive partner (the one with no bruises except for ones created offensively) must be arrested regardless of what the battered states.

  • charles blunk

    if he was behind on child support hed still be in jail. I blame judges and voters

    • beenthere donethat

      Sorry, the abuser is a loser and will not be accountable. Do not have babies you cannot afford. The judge and voters did not put her here. Her decisions did. Spread the word. Quit having babies with losers!!!
      I made a bad decision and married a loser but I protected my eggs from his sperm. It made it easier to escape from him. If you know someone is in a bad relationship, help them with birth control so they can escape easier. Dragging along kids makes it a lot worse..

  • Iam Apatriot

    And even with this, Facebook will never pull down dead peoples profiles.


  • cinnabunnz

    Also As Someone Who’s Been There Done That. Abusive Relationships, Lying On The Floor, Head Bleeding Thinking Your Going To Die @ THe Hands of Someone Who Supposedly Loves You..Being Too Afraid For Your Life To Kno Where To Go.. This Person Knowing Where YOu Live, Work, Party.. && Knowing Even If You Tried To Leave On Good Terms Its Lyk The Crazy Gf/Bf Movie Scene.. If iCant Have You Nobody Will..
    #Friends Close, Enemies Closer.
    the kids are in my prayers.

  • abused in mo

    This is completely typical of the Missouri court system. I became so cynical I even told cops “at least there will be a parer trail when he does kill me”.

  • Brandon

    I think women in these abusive relationships need to go to the equivalent of rehab. The abuser goes to jail while the women go somewhere safe where they can be deprogrammed. Hopefully through counseling they can get their life back and learn how to deal with these type of men.

    • Thorougly_Disgusted

      You are absolutely correct! It is called the psychology of oppression.
      People who have been in abusive relationships need counseling so they can understand how and why they go there. The root of most of the problems is co-dependency. The abuser has some need for control and the abused complies for a number of reasons. When the abused person decides to make a change, the abuser gets angry and increases the techniques that they have learned (and in most cases) been taught by society to maintain the dependency.
      The “isms” and “othering” underwhich the US was founded and exists makes this very easy. The abuser is well aware of the socio-cultural-political framework in which s/he operates and uses it to further the co-dependency. If the abused doesn’t understand the concept, they don’t have the skills to move out of the cycle because society has taught them that there is a normalcy to the co-dependency. (For example, people having to be in a relationship with a significant other to be a full person. Ask many of your friends and family members who got divorced why they married the person in the first place. Most people will tell you because they thought they were supposed to.) If a person steps outside of the norm, they are out of line and will not be supported.
      For example, one commenter on the story said making money and paying bills is an everyday occurrence that this women should have been able to master. Well, yes and no. If you have the skills to do it, then you can do it. But if you have lived in an environment where you have not gotten a basic education, then made to feel like you are inferior because of it, you will not try to survive on the skills that you have because you are constantly embattled. And, when you are told that you are inferior for seeking government support or that you are undeserving because you have not paid into the system, you will not try. This cycle serves to make a vulnerable population more vulnerable and subject to abuse.
      Unless people understand these concept, they are destined to repeat the cycles of violence that attend the psychology of oppression. And, it takes a lot of work to develop some comprehension.
      I do victim’s advocacy work. It’s tough. The victim’s have often taken the first step to move forward by contacting someone; however, the fear of the unknown – homelessness, joblessness, loss of kids, revicitimization by the system — are real concerns. I can’t sit with people all day, everyday, teaching them how to respond and judge fear and appropriate responses and perform everyday life skills. And, in an odd way, giving them a support system that teaches those skills reinforces the co-dependency that brought them to their current situation. A person needs to learn appropriate boundaries and bonding in childhood. If they don’t, for whatever the reason, they have to re-parent themselves. Coming to grips with this concept alone is debilitating. It requires the ability to grieve and grow in a safe environment. Many of our communities no longer provide that safety, and hence the gruesome statistics that every 15 seconds someone is this country is the victim of domestic violence.

    • kayzee

      Thank you. This is a TREMENDOUS response.
      Shaming people never helps. Telling people “You HAVE to do this” doesn’t magically make them able to do the thing that you might find easy to do.
      I feel compassion for women in these situations, the same way I feel compassion for people who are deathly afraid of flying, etc.

  • Alberto caceres

    Understand that this is where community has failed these individuals….you all mention bringing the law into these situations……well the law fails most of the time….i take that back……almost all the time….the law does not help the poor and meek……..man now if only someone could be like a hired killer but for free……kinda like doing the community a service that our paid LEO’s fail to accomplish everytime they make an arrest…..that being; taking AND KEEPING criminals out of our communities…..justice system is a joke no matter how much more advanced the laws are compared to other countries

  • conniejean

    can you say Nicole Simpson? When she DID call police on OJ, they asked for his autograph’!!!!!!!!!!! When he left.
    Enough said

  • Karen

    The question should never be “Why does (the victim) stay.” We should always ask “Why does the (abuser) abuse.”

    Many domestic violence agencies have resources for legal assistance as well as emergency shelter and counseling. Call the National DV Hotline 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) if you need help or information. When choosing to stay, at least be as safe as you can be. DV agencies can help you stay safer with a plan or help you leave when you are ready. It never hurts to talk to someone and see what your options are.

  • TexasBlonde51

    Samantha, I absolutely loath profanity but I can understand why you used it in this article. This event points to just how our system of laws do nothing to protect women or men from an abusive mate. Yes, there are men who are physically abused by their wives or partner. You can take out a million protective orders and all you have are a million pieces of paper that do zero to protect you.
    I will say I believe many who are abused like Miss Rowling will testify for their abuser because they are even more afraid of what the abuser will do to them when they get out. Of course it did nothing to protect her in the end. The best thing women can do is purchase a handgun and get their conceal carry license. They have to take steps to protect themselves at all times because their abuser is not going to wait for police to show up.
    Prayers for her children. It breaks my heart they have lost their mother.

  • Dianne

    After three years of on and off abuse from what I can only describe as a psychotic ex of someone I once dated, I got a harrassment order. In those three years she damaged my door twice, keyed my new jeep and I had to call the cops on her twice to escort her off my property. I have had to block my personal and work emails, along with my cell. She would call from all different numbers so I had to change my number FIVE times in the last year. I even moved, but being as crazy as she is she figured out where I lived. When the abuse escalated to her physically coming over four days repeatedly last November I obtained an ex parte order by the signing judge by just including her crazy letters, which is almost unheard of.. She left me alone until the week before the court hearing to make the order permanent for two years. In that week she texted me, left me a voicmail, sent me a letter and physically came to my house. Here is the kicker, I am a police officer. All four incidents were reported to TWO different police agencies. While I could not prove all four I could prove very clearly two. The order was clearly in effect when the violations were proven. Both agencies did nothing! The signing judge clearly stated no contact whatsoever. As police officers, no contact is no contact. It is not our job to decide whether we agree with an order or not and allow personal bias from a good actor (which this woman is) to bias us. When it comes to domestic and child protected issues, there is no gray area. We are orderd to completely comply with the order PERIOD. Ready for the other kicker? We are trained as professionals and because of my job, I am aware of the statutes and presented myself very calm and knew how to prove the elements of the case. I never once attacked her character because I know better. She appeared a complete basket case and lied through her teeth attacking me every which way. You never know what judge or jury you are going to get. And that is very scary. This judicial officer of the court, although allowed discretion to an extent has a responsibility to protect a harrassed party when the elements of the statute have not only been proven but admiited to on the stand. She not only admitted the elements, she admitted the violation of the order. Remember judges are also human, just cause you can see through someone’s bullshit so clearly, recognize they only see a small snapshot of what is going on and sometimes they just are not as intelligent as we would hope. My order was dismissed because he felt bad for her. He told me because of my intelligence and knowledge of the law I was using it to pit her. WTF????? I do not know where she lives, I do not drive by her property, I don’t email her and I certainly don’t call her. While it is not as serious as this poor woman above, it is still frightening because people who are so unrationable and unstable can escalate very quickly. It is a sad state of affairs when the judges let sympathy prevent them from protecting the truly harassed. I would not be surprised if I get severely injured or killed before this woman leaves me alone.

  • Patricia Romer

    Why is it that someone who embezzles money (bad, but no one is injured or killed) will get years in jail but a man can stab his girlfriend and get a year. A violent, deliberate attack like which did not end in death should be a minimum of 10 years in jail.

  • VJ

    I was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. No one understands it unless they have been in the situation… it is so easy to judge as an outsider the choices those people in the relationship make. As the victim you literally no longer have control over your mind or your feelings, someone else has the control and manipulates everything you do. The sad part is mental and emotional abuse most people don’t believe in because you cannot see the scares and bruises like physical. I feel horrible for this woman and her family because I have been there an thankfully I got out alive before any of it had escalated. There were times after we broke up where I was literally terrified he would show up at my house or get into my house while I wasn’t home… and I would not put it past him to kill my dog just to get back at me for leaving him. I also felt horribly guilty for the entire time the abuse was happening and almost a year after the relationship ended- maybe I deserved these things? Maybe I wasn’t a good enough person or girlfriend? Every time I spoke up I was told how mean I was, or that I was a bitch. I wouldn’t wish that situation on my worst enemy.
    These are not things to take lightly. These victims need help and people need to be aware of the psychology that goes along with it. If there are warning signs speak up even if the victim seems to hate you for it… it could save their life.