Imagine you are an aspiring teenage fashion designer in the 90s. You’re feeling the urge to sew, and you have at your disposal a blue Jessica McClintock prom dress from Macy’s and your grandmother’s old lace tablecloth. What do you make? If your answer is the dress Sandra Bullock is wearing above, you win!
Ok, but seriously. The dressÂ Sandra BullockÂ wore to the premiere of Gravity in Tokyo is so confusing.Â I never think of Sandy as a fashion icon, per se, but I feel like she usually brings it a bit harder than this. I mean, what exactly is going on here? It’s blue and strapless and a little bit bell-shaped and then HOO BOY your eye gets to the bottom and all hell breaks loose with a black-and-white, or maybe brown-and-white, floral panel that looks like it got lost on the way to someone’s wedding dress. It’sÂ a classic case of what my fave ladies over atÂ Go Fug YourselfÂ would call a “scrolldown fug:” Perfectly lovely until you scroll down.
Please,Â let’s see the back:
Weird, the floral doesn’t even go all the way around the hem! Whyyyyy? This poor dress looks like it was deemed too short so someone was like, “Hey, let’s just put this totally clashing white dress on underneath and it will be sort of like an avante garde petticoat!”
I usually love Carolina Herrera, so I was sad to see that that she’s responsible for this dress that can’t make up its mind. The good news here is that it fits Sandra Bullock perfectly, although I think it could have been styled better with some slim, dangly earrings instead of those low-key studs. Or, you know, she could have just worn a completely different dress. That would have worked, too.
Photos: Wire Image/Getty Images