Miley Cyrus Did Unspeakable Things To Santa Claus Last Night

miley-cyrus-twerking-santa-clausNot too long ago, we thought that Miley Cyrus’ twerking and tongue-lolling schtick was getting old and she’d have to find something new to make her stand out. But rather than find a new trick, she’s back to her old ones, but now she’s doing them with a holiday spirit and twerking on Santa Claus.

miley-cyrus-twerking-santa-claus-2We know, we know. What Miley Cyrus does is not really twerking. Twerking involves some extremely impressive butt gyrations, where Miley Cyrus pretty much just bends over and rubs her butt on things. (She’s very flexible. We’re going to have to try that pilates shit sometime.) Last night at the KIIS FM Jingle Ball in Los Angeles, she rubbed her butt all over Santa Claus.

Don’t worry, your fluffy-bearded childhood memories are unsullied. Miley’s Santa is less Miracle on 34th Street and more “creepy dude on 34th Street upon whom you should probably not rub your butt.” He has a paper bag-wrapped bottle of hooch and John Lennon glasses, and we don’t want to think too hard about where that Santa outfit came from or why he’s wearing it.

Miley had a fur-trimmed Chanel muff and a candy cane microphone for the performance, with a red sequined crop top and a pair of those high-waisted, high-leg panties she’s been wearing so often lately. We know the 90s are back, but we’re conflicted on the matter of the high-cut panties. They aren’t exactly flattering, and they don’t look comfortable, but Miley Cyrus seems to love them as much as she loves twerking.

We were evidently wrong about Miley Cyrus picking up a new trick any time soon, so we guess there’s nothing to do but look forward to her inevitable Valentine’s Day twerking, and St. Patrick’s Day twerking, and Groundhog Day twerking.

Via The Daily Mail/Photos: Getty

 

Share This Post:
    • Lindsey Conklin

      I’m having a little deja vu. Oh, Miley.