• Tue, Dec 10 - 12:30 pm ET

Sexy Lingerie So Complicated You Need A PhD To Get It Off (NSFW)

sexy-lingerie

Lingerie is great because it’s beautiful and sexy and because it helps women and other female-identified people feel beautiful and sexy. But man, sometimes when I’m cruising around on websites full of sexy bras, panties and corsets, I can’t help but marvel at how, well, complicated some of these lacy little garments look.

Granted, my undergarments tend much more towards built-in bra tank tops rather than teddies, although I do have a few sexy vintage slips and bras I pull out when the mood strikes. But there is a whole world full of waspies (abbreviated corsets), mesh, buckles and straps that people regularly wrangle their forms into during sexytime.  And hey, it certainly seems to be a source of sexual (and visual!) pleasure, so I say keep on keepin’ on. Just be aware that you might need a PhD in engineering to get some of these babies off your or your partner’s body.

Marlies Dekkers Unpadded Plunge Balcony Bra

plunge-bra

A fierce, fierce bra with metal accoutrement to prove it.

Something Wicked Annabel Harness Bra

Screen Shot 2013-12-10 at 10.43.35 AM

How are the pasties attached? Please, someone tell me how the pasties are attached.

Agent Provocateur Jet Suspender

agent-provacateur

How do you get this on? How do you get this off?

Spicy Lingerie Lovely Leopard Goddess Sexy Dress

sexy-dress Liquid-look leopard!

Agent Provocateur Caitlin Waspie 

caitlin-waspie

I love the pink and black here. I want to know how the middle garment (a waspie) fastens.

Frederick’s Of Hollywood Strappy Lace Halter Teddy

strappy-lace-halter-teddy

This reminds me of nothing so much as Jess Day’s ill-fated starfish lingerie on New Girl.

Lingerie Diva Opulent Fishnet Set 

opulent-fishnet-set

Mesh sleeves!

Nancy Mayer ID Sarreiri Meet Anne Droid Bustier

PAAAIAMCDCMNLHMD-BLACK

I actually kind of dig the “starry night meets Elizabethan” nature of this corset.

Frederick’s Of Hollywood Banded Lace Chemise

banded-lace-chemise

So pretty, so many straps.

All photos via respective retailers

 

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  • elle

    Maybe I’m just a simple woman with simple needs but most of these look like they would take WAY too much time to get on and off. I just don’t have that kind of time.

  • Lindsey Conklin

    sometimes I have trouble unzipping a dress. no way would this work for me, hahaa

  • Ninargh

    I think pasties stay on with double sided tape. Or toupee tape. If you’re fancy.

  • http://www.pinkwinds.com Euniceh

    I love these sets so much. But pinkwinds corsets are better for me. You can find them here http://www.pinkwinds.com/lingerie/corsets.html