Photoshop Of Horrors: Pair Your Sexy Lingerie With Terrifying Cartoon Eyes And Barbie Proportions

Photoshop of Horrors lingerie ad

Watch out, potential purchasers of lingerie! Your corsets, bras and panties* could come at a price: a face and figure proportional to that of humans rather than Bratz dolls. A set of lingerie on retailer AliExpress has been using a model whom I suspect is not the genuine cartoon/human hybrid we geeks have been waiting for, so something in me wants to guess she cannot possibly be proportioned this way.

Photoshop of Horrors lingerie ad

Anybody find it strange that they photoshopped the model so her waist is approximately the same width as her head? Speaking of her head, though, it’s her eyes that get to me.

Perhaps this model has only recently been going through an utterly life-changing experience featuring an Instagram-filtered road trip, several Broken Social Scene songs, and a series of realizations regarding the world not being what it seems. Deep, girl. Open them eyez to the truth.

Or the advertisers simply felt the woman’s eyes were too small–which makes very little sense, as your eyes are typically just the size they need to be in order to allow that whole “vision” function–so they enlarged them in a terrifying way:

Photoshop of Horrors lingerie ad

In an ironic (or strikingly self-aware) twist, the marketing team added these words to the image:

Don’t stop to look into my eyes:

Just go on without me. My eyes will

always fall on you.

Well, that would make sense, given they’re photoshopped enough to give Sauron a run for his money?

I found the images while poking around the Internet last night, searching for holiday lingerie, as one does. While I look at pictures of clothes quite a bit during my regular day, shopping for myself always feels strangely different. In this case, it was a stark reminder that women in lingerie ads are just unbelievably photoshopped nearly every time. Not only that, but they’re almost always hanging out in awkwardly contorted positions I do not recall ever finding comfortable while wearing–well, anything. Lacy or otherwise.

In any case, I think I’ll opt out of buying lingerie accompanied by bad poetry and terrible marketing that makes women into literal caricatures of themselves. Then again, I suppose that eliminates a lot of stores.

*Does everybody still hate this word?

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    • Emily

      Creepy. They’ve made her look about 14 years-old.

    • Muggle

      oh my god. If you want sexy anime girls to model your lingerie, just fucking draw them ffs. You don’t need to turn real women into… whatever the fuck this is. I’m sure she’s a beautiful woman in real life, but this picture… no.

    • Elena

      Circle lenses, eyelid glue and a shitton of makeup can help you get those eyes. Just search youtube for ulzzang makeovers or similar.

      • Samantha_Escobar

        I wondered that for a minute because I had a friend with naturally large eyes who wore lots of makeup and circle lenses, and her eyes did look huge, but they never looked this big. In these, her eyes are bigger than her lips and her fingers–it just looks too oversized, haha.

      • jeanie jay

        I believe Lady Gaga wore those types of scary-big circle lenses in her “Bad Romance” video. Unfortunately, these types of lenses can lead to eye damage if improperly worn and/or worn for too long–I think the absolute maximum for having them in is an hour or so. It kind of makes their popularity in Asia rather scary, in that respect.

    • Joanna Rafael

      I’m officially into the words SCREW, PANTIES, and LOVERS.

      • Joanna Rafael

        And officially into women looking like humans.

    • S

      Um. Yes, she’s creepy, but I also want what she’s wearing. Anyone know why it’s only $8?

    • Sara

      She also has something extremely unnatural happening with her backside in the right hand picture. I think her booty got photoshopped into one giant leg. Makes her look like her back is ready to snap!

    • Brandy Lauff Reynolds

      Anyone can do their eyes to look like that with some simple makeup tricks…and what exactly is not proportionate about her figure? Looks fine to me?

      • Brandy Lauff Reynolds

        Other than her missing butt crack of course, which is the only part I see that was photoshopped

      • Celia

        I agree. I actually have very large, perhaps disproportional, eyes and she’s not too far off from me. Granted it looks like she might be wearing circle lenses, but you never know. People rarely have perfectly proportional faces, I think it’s rude to assume anyone with large eyes HAS to be photoshopped.
        Spot on with the missing buttcrack though.

    • velvetfawn

      The best part about this article is that it criticises an Asian woman, who is *gasp* modeling towards an Asian market, which has its own set of ideals which this “author” likely knows nothing about.
      She’s obviously wearing heavy makeup and has been tweaked a bit, but that doesn’t mean it’s something you can discuss from a Western paradigm without being a racist piece of shit.

      • Brandy Lauff Reynolds

        Completely agree! I think she looks beautiful and sexy!

    • Thornaxe

      I guess I figured this was one of those ultra lifelike sex dolls……