World’s Favorite Famous Sister And Infamous Butt-Haver Is Engaged!

The Sugarplum Ball - Arrivals

It looks like we have another royal-ish wedding in the works–praised be! Sister to Kate Middleton and esteemed event planner/author Pippa Middleton is engaged to banker Nico Jackson, and is planning a 2014 wedding. This is all, of course according to an anonymous source who talked to Us Weekly, so let’s just take this with a grain of salt.

After 15 months together, Jackson apparently proposed on a vacation to India, and it was “exactly how he planned it. Very romantic and grand!” Well that’s all a girl can ask for, right ladies? I would imagine that Middleton would throw herself into planning, but as usual, Us Weekly proved me wrong.

Since the engagement, Middleton, 30, and Jackson, 36, have been celebrating their happy news in private. A source says they plan to spend Boxing Day (Dec. 26) at her family’s Bucklebury estate before heading to the Alps for vacation in the new year.

Wait, another vacation? Seriously? Is that all these people do–vacation? Sounds like a pretty sweet life to me.

It does strike me, however, that there’s literally no way in the world that Pippa’s ceremony will measure up to her sister’s royal wedding. There is literally no point to throwing a grand ball, because as you know your wedding is a competition for dominance and Pippa’s sister already won.

I wonder just how much people will go crazy over this, and the answer is obviously yes. Do you all remember how much everyone flipped out over Pippa’s ass in her maid-of-honor dress? It’s going to be like the Great Butt Obsession of 2011, but times a billion.

If this whole engagement racket true, I’m embarrassingly excited. I can’t wait to speculate about the dress and see if the Mason jar trend has hit the UK yet. Why do I care about the royals? I don’t know, but I am who I am. Thanks for your support.

Photo: Getty Images

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    • Lindsey Conklin

      they will have very beautiful children!