• Mon, Dec 23 - 4:00 pm ET

5 New Nail Polishes That Are The Worst

Photo: Shutterstock

Photo: Shutterstock

I’m kind of a nail polish junkie. There are times when I paint my nails several times a day, which many people would find incredibly frustrating but I find positively relaxing. On days where I do not want to get out of sweats and my hair looks like several generations of birds have made it their home, it’s comforting to know that at least my nails look pretty damn good.

Alas, this endless cycle of paint-remove-repeat means that I go through bottles of polish pretty quickly, so I tend to purchase a serious amount of nail polish. I’m all about trying the latest nail polish trends — I still stand by the fact that I brought the shattered nail polish look to my college, which is probably not completely true but whatever — but even I have been surprised by some of the latest polishes posing as trendy. Here are some of the worst nail polishes that I’ve purchased recently.

Essie belugaria

 

Belugaria, Essie

This textured polish — which, as the ad suggests, is supposed to resemble caviare — goes on thick and goopy and is the most disappointed I have ever been in a nail polish since… ever. The bottle has “highly texturized matte glitter” with “flashes of holographics” which should make it look pretty and luxe but instead gives your nails the appearance of having been dipped in black tar. If you want your nails to feel like sandpaper and your friends to question why your nails look like they are growing fungus, by all means, please purchase Belugaria.

Maybelline Color Show Pink

 

Speckled Pink, Maybelline 

I really liked the version of this polish from Maybelline’s Color Show PolkaDots collection — which featured a clear nail polish that was heavily saturated with matte black and white glitter flecks — and was totally bummed to realize that the pink version of it was a total fail. You’ll need about five coats of this color in order to get an opaque pink, at which point the flecks will be all but covered by the color which was pretty hideous to begin with. Sigh. I would definitely recommend the Clearly Spotted color from this collection, perhaps over a vibrant red for a Queen of Hearts-esque nail look.

OPI A-Peirs To Be

 

A Piers To Be Tan, OPI

This is part of OPI’s San Francisco collection, hence the stupid name (get it, San Francisco has a PIER, this is a TAN COLOR…) Maybe this color just clashes with my skin tone, but I also don’t know whose skin tone in would look particularly great on. It’s not exactly brown or orange and, despite what the name suggests, it most certainly is not what most people would describe as “tan”, unless you’re counting the over-toasted tone of Tan Mom’s skin.

Emotions, OPI 

OPI liquid sand

Another textured polish similar — but somehow not as gross — in effect to Essie’s Belugaria, this “liquid sand” polish wants to turn your nails into gritty black sandpaper. This is a part of the Mariah Carey 2013 Christmas Collection, but I can’t imagine Mariah Carey ever putting this formula on her own talons — err, nails.

Pretty Edgy Essie

 

Pretty Edgy, Essie

This is actually not a new color, per se, but it is new to me, so I included it on this list. Since it’s the holidays, I thought that it might be appropriate to purchase a green in case the desire to ever paint tiny Christmas trees on my nails ever springs up. I made the mistake of painting each one of my finger nails with this green, and the result was way more Wicked Witch of the West than I would ever like to see on my nails. While I’m a huge fan of mint green polish all day, every day, this color will make your nails appear to be nauseous. And that’s just not a good look, you know what I mean?

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  • elle

    The maybelline color show vintage leather sucked too. Weird color, weird texture, and it started peeling after like 3 hours…..it didn’t look like cracked leather, it looked like you just kind of globbed on a ton of polish onto random parts of your nails.

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Not a huge fan of their Color Show collection in general, I’m realizing! I think everything comes out a liiiiittle too sheer.

  • Charmless

    I just looked at the Google image results for both chunky black polishes and the beauty bloggers can’t even make them look good. Those are both absolutely hideous and I can’t imagine what a pain in the ass removing either would be.

    I would wear the shit out of the Essie kelly green though. You may have inadvertently sold me on it with “Wicked Witch of the West”. Urban Outfitters had a green that was similar, but it took way too many coats to achieve any sort of coverage.

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Most of the beauty bloggers that I’ve found looked way better than anything I could have done and it still looks gross. It seems to be a trendy thing now, to add a lot of texture to polishes. I’m all for sparkle but I don’t think anyone has mastered a polish with a serious 3D effect yet. Maybe in the future they’ll make a better formula. I might not HATE it as much in white?

      I thought I would like the green polish look, but it… is not for me. Maybe an accent nail in green would be cool though.

  • Lex

    Going to add to this velvet flocked nails, my god don’t do it, it feels hideous and picks up lint and when you brush your nails against anything fabric it just feels vile *shudder* you wash your hands and it’s just awful! There’s the ciate velvet one and MUA fur effect nails in the UK. Just don’t. Urgh I’m cringing even thinking about the time I used it. Also not keen on the Barry M matte nail polishes, they look great but chip easy and seem to be drying my nails out.

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Ahh I totally feel your pain. I bought one of those velvet kits (it wasn’t the Ciate one and it was called something else, but from what I can gather it’s all the same velvet-like effect) and was so disappointed. Then again, one of the “looks” you could go for was Sesame Street themed, so I shouldn’t be too surprised that it didn’t look awesome (I love Cookie Monster as much as the next gal but don’t really want my nails to resemble him). I like matte nail polish but it chips so much more easily. I’m thinking about buying the matte top coat from Butter since I can’t seem to find any other that really work well.

  • Tanya Payne

    I agree with most of those, especially Essie Pretty Edgy. But I have to disagree about A Piers to be Tan, it looks FABULOUS with my skin. I’m medium-dark, African American with neutral/slightly pink warm undertones in my hands. The color looks so good on me I began hoarding every caramel/brown/orange weird color I could find. :)

  • Taya

    This annoys me

  • http://www.nailmania.dk/lakker/neglelak see our special offers

    Maybe this color just clashes with my skin tone, but I also don’t know whose skin tone in would look particularly great on.