Audrey is tired. Alexa is cliche. Here are the top ten babes we most wanted to look like this year.
Jax Teller, Sons of Anarchy
It takes a lot of raw animal sex power to pull off baggy bleached jeans and white sneakers. Violent, emotionally tortured, and clad 24/7 in black leather, Jax Teller is one of the sexiest men to grace our screens in 2013. Lesser men would look ridiculous swaggering around like the Sons VP, and no one since Kurt Cobain has pulled off a side parted man bob like Charlie Hunnam. We can assume his beauty routine is minimal: shower with your lady, run fingers through hair, squint seductively.
Honorable mention to Opie, who rocks that gnarly beard like a boss.
Keys to style: back tattoos, daddy issues, boiling rage, greasy blonde bob
Everyone spent their summer talking about the sexual politics of “Blurred Lines.” I have a hard time making it through the song, but I would like to know what lip product Emily Ratajkowski is using to get that just-ate-a-popsicle red lip in the infamous video. Get the look with piecey waves, luminous bronzed skin, and total boob confidence. As far as beauty tips go, “We should be able to dance around naked and celebrate our beauty” is pretty solid advice. Damn straight, Em.
Keys to style: body confidence, spray tan, platform sneakers, Revlon Lip Butter in Candy Apple, eye gloss
Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones
Not only does the Mother of Dragons pull off ultra-bleached hair and eyebrows (must use a great deep conditioner), Daenerys gets extra points for being a beauty chameleon. Bloody riding gear made of horse leather? Check. Gold belts and blue silk in Quarth? Working it. Find a signature hair and beauty look, and you can experiment with fashion without ever looking like anyone but yourself.
Keys to style: leather boots, blonde lashes, bare lips, a Zippo, lots and lots of bleach
Boy band style ain’t what it used to be. The One Direction crew’s foppish locks, defined brows, and low-rider skinny jeans will hold up better than Justin Timberlake’s ramen noodle curls or the Backstreet Boys metallic suits. The boys like highly styled hair, dewy skin, and the tween-y fragrance of pink grapefruit, wild berries, freesia, and white musk. Totally cop-worthy style for androgynous ladies.
Myrtle Wilson as played by Isla Fisher, The Great Gatsby
Tom Buchanan is an insensitive troll, but you can hardly blame him for chasing after the mechanic’s wife when Daisy is so vanilla and Myrtle is a bawdy sex kitten. Her pincurled do, lacy stockings, Clara Bow lacquered lips, and signature red dress snared a blue collar hubs and East Egg’s surliest non-bachelor.
Keys to style: seamed nylons, finger waves, crimson lipstick, beauty mark, fifth of gin
Ryan Gosling as Luke, The Place Beyond the Pines
Leave it to our hero Ryan Gosling to make us lust after carnies. Luke is the Breakfast Club criminal for millenials. Distressed motorcycle boots and vintage tees never go out of style, and micro-tattoos are totally on trend for this year. Steal his floppy bleached hair and tight white tee and pair with a floral skater skirt.
Keys to style: stick-and-poke tattoos, tight jeans, muscle tee, peroxide
Marnie Michaels, GIRLS
Poor Marnie, the prissy girl we love to hate. I’d like to think it’s because of her entitlement or naivete or narcissism, but maybe I’m just jealous of Allison Williams‘s Kate Middleton-esque mane. Marnie is the queen of natural beauty. She lacks Shoshanna’s daring updos, Hannah’s tats, or Jessa’s insouciant statement lip and kimonos, but her matte skin, skinny jeans, and bouncy brunette locks make her the GIRLS girl most likely to get a job with benefits.
Keys to style: liberal arts degree, platform pumps, dark wash jeans, salon blowout, NARS Turkish Delight gloss
2013 was a good year for the Kaiser. He turned 80, went to Dallas, delivered some beautiful clothes, some racism, some fatphobic bon mots, and a few choice pieces of advice (I’m with you on the sweatpants, Karl). Apparently the key to pulling off a white Louis XVI ponytail, cravat, and cowboy boots is to be a flamboyant and irreverent German couture designer. Who knew.
Keys to style: Louis Vuitton cat carrier, black wayfarers, biker half-gloves, velvet hair ribbon
The girls in Harmony Korine’s last film aren’t exactly aspirational, but they do look mighty fine in string bikinis and unicorn ski masks. Get the look with flavored lipgloss, pink highlights, plastic sunnies, Soffe shorts, and wearing the matching outfits you and your friends secretly own.
Keys to style: surf spray, neon bikini, cutoffs, cocaine, Hawaiian Tropic dark tanning oil
You can pull off a lot of strange hair and makeup if you have a perfect dewy complexion. Get glowing with Cetaphil and a natural moisturizer like Weleda Wild Rose Smoothing Day cream (we know Miss Boucher is an environmentalist), then try whatever weird beauty trend you’ve been lusting after. We’re partial to the half-shave/pigtails combo and slept in smoky eye.
Keys to style: micro bangs, finger tattoos, schoolgirl skirt, Manic Panic Classic Cream formula in Electric Amethyst and Hot Hot Pink
Marilyn will always be a fixture on our mood boards, but I’d much rather wear a dirty biker jacket and Emily Ratajkowski’s stained lip to my New Year’s party. Who are your top beauty icons?