Christmas movies don’t seem like the ideal place for a lot of steamy grown-up sex, but it gets in there anyway. In fact, Christmas movies are a goldmine of weird, sexual tension.
Here are the 5 sexiest scenes from Christmas movies:
1. Zooey Deschanel’s shower scene in Elf
Will Ferrell is just being a man-child in tights when he hears a blonde Zooey Deschanel singing the girl half of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in the shower. She’s totally naked in there, but he comes in anyway and sings the boy part, while she’s vaguely visible through the mostly opaque shower curtain. This little duet would be super creepy in real life.
Bonus: Every scene with Peter Dinklage.
2. The glowing leg lamp from A Christmas Story
Ralphie’s face says it all in this scene. His little brother does not yet know what is going on, but we’re pretty sure Ralphie hit puberty the moment his father unwrapped the famous leg lamp. From that moment on, he says, “Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.”
Ralphie is definitely going to grow up with a thing for fishnets.
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
There was a lot of awesomeness going on with the theft of Christmas and battling the boogey man, but if you saw this movie as a kid, you were probably confused to find yourself disturbingly attracted to a clay skeleton puppet. The romantic subplot between Jack and Sally almost certainly ruined you for real people for the next 10 years.
4. The dirty car sex in Bad Santa
Bad Santa is so adult it doesn’t seem like it should count as a Christmas movie, but it is. It even has the heartwarming ending and everything. But before it turns into an actual Christmas movie, it spends some time getting pretty grown-up, like when Billy Bob Thornton runs into Lauren Graham, who is really turned on by his Santa suit. She makes bedroom eyes and her voice sounds like caramel through their whole, brief, courtship, and when he finally stops snarking and realizes what she’s getting at, they have dirty, satisfying car sex with her chanting, “Fuck me, Santa!” like a mantra.
5. The phone scene from It’s A Wonderful Life
No old movie can pull out an awesome car sex scene like the one in Bad Santa, but there’s a lot that can be said for frustrated longing. By the time Donna Reed and Jimmy Stewart get on the phone with Donna Reed’s boyfriend, Sam, Donna Reed has already smashed a record in frustration because Jimmy Stewart is not responding to her advances. He comes back for his hat while she is on the phone with Sam, who wants to talk to Jimmy Stewart, too. That request requires them to stand next to each other, with his face practically in her hair, to use the old-timey phone.
The scene then goes on and on, with Sam chattering about business as the sexual tension grows about as high as it was legally allowed in the 1940s, until they just drop the damn phone and start making out. No one is shouting, “Fuck me, Santa!” but the end result is even sexier.