• Wed, Dec 25 - 10:00 am ET

8 Sexy Elf Costumes To Get You Laid Tonight

sexy christmas costumeChristmas is obviously an incredibly sexy holiday, what with all the gift giving, wine drinking, stuffing yourself with baked goods, and family time. You get drunk, listen to music, find your family to be intolerable–what’s not to put you in the mood? Basically, it’s boning central, but what if you can’t quite muster up the passion for some wild intercoursing? You really should give costumes a try.

Incorporating sexy costumes into your routine not only re-inflates your flaccid sex life (DO YOU ALL SEE WHAT I DID THERE?), but it also adds a seasonal twist that makes it extra special. There’s no sex like costumed, Christmas sex. And afterwards, you can enjoy some hot cider in bed (also the name of a sex move I just invented. Email me for details) or eggnog, if you’re a real freak.

Now, you could go the sexy Santa route, because why wouldn’t you? Look at that photo up top–that lady is ready for anything and she knows a lot of cool sex doing moves. But why not shake it up a bit and add some wonderment and delight? Why not try an elf costume?

I scoured the Internet for sexy Christmas costumes: elf edition to get the party started. For the most part, they’re surprisingly expensive, but I suppose you can’t put a price on passion.

Photo: Shutterstock

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  • Megan Zander

    Where are the pointy ears ?!