Earlier this year, the former EIC of our sister site Mommyish Koa Beck informed me of a phenomenon wherein parents “swoop” in on the baby names their friends, family members and acquaintances have chosen. As in, one pregnant woman will say to her friend, “I’m thinking about the name Pillowcase for my little bun in the oven,” and her friend will think, Hmm, I’m going to give birth before her, perhaps I should take advantage of this name opportunity as it already perfectly encapsulates the identity I have pre-defined for my fetus. It’s not like the first friend can do anything to stop the second one; she will just have to find a different name or there’ll simply be two Pillowcases.
In order to combat this, as well as the never-ending pursuit of being “unique” with baby names*, Bounty.com has come up with a list of the “Most Extraordinary Baby Names of 2013.”
The list of boy names starts out normal-weird enough with Tiger and Tucker, but quickly progresses to Prosper, Perseus, Luck, London and oh-my-god-are-you-serious Lohan. The list for girls is pretty odd, featuring Tea, Pinky, Peppa, Nirvana and Ream. For some reason, two my least favorites are the ones that are commonly associated with fashion: Dior and Vogue. It’s like when people name their kid Ferrari or Bentley; it just sort of sounds dumb.
As we have been over in the past, some names are dealbreakers and some names are hot makers (yes, I made up that descriptive term, just go with it), but I am not sure where “Vogue” falls. Should I be writing about a human named Vogue, I would feel awkward not automatically italicizing it, but I would also feel awkward because her name would be Vogue and there is no easy nickname for that and I am a nicknaming type of person.
However, the ultimate ridiculous ones that I just can’t quit possibly understand why anybody would choose: Pepsi, Paradise, PUPPY. Puppy. Puppy. Who the eff is naming their human child Puppy? Yes, babies are often loud and excitable and pee everywhere, much like young dogs, but they do not stay that way, and long after your kid is potty-trained and can actually form words, she will still be named Puppy. And she will hate you for that.
*For the record, I am so very guilty of this and have plans to name my kid after an herbaceous plant you can put in food, so hopefully nobody thinks I’m being too harsh.