Today we have some shocking news: A whole lot of you are not wearing clothes right now. That commenter you’re fighting with about Kate Middleton‘s latest fascinator is totally nude. The middle-school friend posting pictures of her dog on Facebook? Naked. And if you are selling things on Etsy or Ebay, a lot of your customers are definitely naked, and some of them are probably drunk.
According to Business Insider, 11% of all online shoppers are naked. In a Paypal poll of 4,524 between the ages of 16 and 64, and fully 11% of those people, including your grandparents, are doing their holiday shopping in the nude. Hopefully they have purchased some curtains.
We are totally in favor of naked Internet shopping, but 33% of online shoppers aren’t quite so breezy and wear choose to wear pajamas instead. That’s probably about the same percentage as the number of people who are writing your blog posts in their pajamas. (We have no idea of 11% of bloggers post in the buff, but we would not be surprised. A lot of bloggers work from home.) But with 44% of shoppers either naked or wearing pajamas, does that mean 56% of shoppers are actually wearing real, grown-up clothes to do their Internet shopping? That’s terrible! We feel like we should send those poor people some comfy pajamas and introduce them to the joys of not wearing bras and shoes.
Fifteen percent of people also reported drinking alcohol while shopping online, which is great fun but a habit I really feel like I must advise against. A bottle of Rittenhouse once convinced me that a rotting 1920s sofa on Craigslist would be an excellent candidate for reupholstering and neglected to remind me that I do not know how to reupholster a couch. Unless you want to cart an overpriced sofa corpse around with you for the next seven years, I highly recommend against drinking and Internet shopping at the same time.
Via NYmag/Photo: Shutterstock