Kate Middleton and Victoria Beckham are allegedly new besties, according to a “source.” The pair has, and this is a real quote from an online publication, “been bonding…over decorating.”
This source told the British Star magazine:
“The Beckhams and William and Kate are becoming very close and regularly discuss everything from parenting to decorating. Kate and Victoria have a lot in common as they both adore art and interior design. William and David enjoy discussing sport and bonding over being dads, and Kate and Victoria talk about fashion, design and parenting. Kate has been advising the Beckhams on their bathroom tiles, and her and William’s main bathroom is marvellous. She is sourcing antique Grecian statues for them both, too, as housewarming presents.”
Okay all of this is probably not true, but I love it too much to quibble. Let’s all take a quick sojourn into the fantasy world where Middleton and Beckham are best friends who just talk about bathroom tile, and think of some best friend activities for the two of them.
- Experiment with different types of fruit salads. This week, they might try adding jicama for crunch!
- Look at their vaginas with compact mirrors to try to identify their cervices.
- Drink cosmos and discuss penis sizes.
- Karaoke to classic Spice Girls songs. Beckham will act embarrassed at first, but then she’ll really get into it.
- Have the world’s daintiest pillow fights, until Middleton’s field hockey past comes out and she accidentally sends Beckham flying across the room.
- Have a princess tea party where they pretend to be normal. They will discuss buying a minivan.
- Make charitable donations online.
- Watch Scandal for twelve hours straight. Middleton is Team Jake, but Beckham is Team Fitz. Best friends don’t always have to agree; they just have to respect each other.
- Create custom sweat pants with rhinestone messages on the butts.
- Prank call Buckingham Palace.
As much as I love this potential dynamic duo, I’m equally enthralled by the burgeoning friendship between the husbands: Prince William and David Beckham. According to that same source, “David loves making sushi and William’s keen to learn.” Okay. Does somebody smell a cooking show? Or maybe even a buddy-comedy produced by Judd Apatow? Look, I’m just spit balling here, but if you want to make that movie, Judd, give me a call and I’ll write it. You’re welcome.
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