• Fri, Jan 3 - 12:40 pm ET

Shame Yourself Skinny With Run, Fat B!tch, Run, You Lazy Cow

weight loss Are you interested in assigning arbitrary value to your body and also hating yourself? Is weight loss the only path to self worth? You really should check out a hot new book by a non-expert named Ruth Field called Run, Fat B!tch, Run, which will teach you how to be a functioning, non-fat human. Doesn’t P!nk have the monopoly on the old exclamation point for an i?

Hold on a moment, I thought that Field was not an expert, but it turns out that she ran a marathon, and like anyone who’s completed an achievement, she’s an expert in being a huge freaking douche.

run fat bitch run

There’s a lot wrong here, so let’s get into it:

1. The author, Ruth Field is a criminal barrister. In our language, that means she’s a defense lawyer. Law, to my knowledge, is a different profession than nutrition, personal training, or medicine.

2. Her assumption that she’s speaking a truth that the rest of us are just too afraid fat to say:

Really I am just naming that voice we all have inside our heads. Yours may be lying dormant or suffocating under all that excess weight but it is there. It’s that nagging little voice which makes you feel just a tad uncomfortable about helping yourself to another biscuit.

3. Who the hell is Ruth Field to call anyone a fat bitch? Well, she’s a person who’s never been obese in her life–at most, she needed to lose “a few pounds.” So she’s just a bitch, right? I mean, I really don’t care for that word at all, but if you’re going to go around yelling at people whose life experiences you don’t come close to understanding and calling them insulting names, that kind of makes you a huge asshole, at least.

4. Everyone hates running. Or whatever, maybe you don’t. But promising that running is the only way to a healthy life (only accomplished by being thin) is stupid.

5. Here’s a fun dietary tip from her book:

She again points to running being the answer here as runners tend to crave less sugary treats because of the feel-good factor they can get from running and tend to seek healthy foods as fuel to help them run.

Super psyched that this lawyer can give me so many ideas that sound suspiciously like they were written by a nutritionist, if a nutritionist didn’t know what she was talking about. I am a person who runs and I am also a person who eats ice cream every day and I’m very comfortable with that duality.

6. But wait! There’s more where that came from!

If you are consuming fizzy drinks, crisps and takeaways as part of your daily diet, this is the reason you are not losing as much weight as you would expect from running alone. Frankly, as an adult you should be ashamed of yourself if you are still buying sweets and fizzy drinks on a weekly basis. Stop it now.

If you are a grown up who writes a book called Run, Fat B!tch, Run, you should be ashamed of yourself.

7. Per The Daily Mail‘s coverage of the blessed tome, “Ruth said her tips are just common sense – move more and eat less junk food – but believes many people need to stop deluding themselves in order to achieve it.” What world is this lunatic living in where people are walking around in a cloud of self delusion every single day? Is there a single fat person on earth who hasn’t heard the myriad messages saying that they aren’t good enough? Who’s in denial here?

8. And finally, Ruth Field really is that “friend” who says she’s just telling you the truth because no one else has the balls to do it, but actually that person is a deluded maniac.

You may be big-boned but you may also be fat. Being big-boned is no excuse for being overweight. You are overweight because you eat too much of the wrong food.

Oh for godssake. There is no wrong food. There are no wrong bodies. If you want to lose weight, that’s great. Go for it, since it’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it. But the same goes for staying fat–being fat is not inherently wrong. I’m going to go pull my hair out and eat something. The only thing wrong here is Ruth Field, who is not an expert, not a truth teller, and just a professional bully. Way to go, Ruth. Fighting the good fight.

Photo: Shutterstock

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  • CMJ

    Um, the reason I buy sweets is because I AM an adult and I can do what I want.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      I second this. And my Jolly Rancher bowl thirds it.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      AND you’re a role model in that regard.

  • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Maria Guido

    This is so weird. I’m working on my first novel, “Shut Up Skinny Bitch Before I Shove This Donut Down Your Gullet.” Coincidence?

    • Katia

      That’s a good idea. I think books with “skinny” or “fat” plus “bitch” on the cover will make good money.
      Not sure if you’ve ever read the book “skinny bitch” but its actually fantastic (even though I can’t come close to sticking with all their recommendations it’s very educational and did inspire me to avoid aspartame and meat)

  • Lindsey Conklin

    I run daily. Also. I eat and crave sugar constantly. Ruth, you liar.

    • EX

      I was under the impression that this is the main motivation for running – so you can shove all the sweets you want in your face without feeling guilty.

    • Lindsey Conklin

      HAHA THATS EXACTLY WHY I RUN!!! I can then justify my ravenous appetite :)

    • JennyWren

      Right?! I’m not running as regularly now as I used to, but when I was at my fittest I wanted pizza all. The. Time.

  • Muggle

    “professional bully” yeah, pretty much. Just her writing style screams “I’m the biggest bitch to ever walk this earth and fuck you, pissant.”

    Is this book just a huge, 100-or-so page rant about how fat people are all lazy and gross? Because that’s terrible writing. Christ, that wouldn’t be tolerated on even the most “free-speech” internet forums.

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      Yes! I was wondering, how is this a book? Who publishes shit like this? Is it self published? I thought it was hard to get something published; I must be wrong!

    • Muggle

      I finally got around to reading the Daily Fail article where I found this: “In her book, Run Fat B!tch Run, she offers a no nonsense approach to getting moving in the guise of her ‘inner b***h’ The Grit Doctor.”

      “Inner” bitch my ass. I found out who her publisher was on Amazon: Sphere. Why would anyone publish such self-righteous, abusive bullshit like this? And, get this, *256* pages of it? Holy fucking shit. A 256-page barrage of insults and self-righteous “tough love.” Why!?

    • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

      I just…..it’s nuts. Maybe if I knew a runner who was self-righteous that I secretly hated?

  • Rachel Sea

    Oh fuck off you stupid bint. Common sense, my fat arse. If one likes running then one should do it for the enjoyment, but it’s not actually very good for your body.

  • I Need a Fuzzy Screen Name

    I get the sense I shouldn’t make fat jokes in this article, lest I get banned

  • Kelly

    Some people like this type of motivation. If you aren’t one of them, I don’t know why you’d even pick up the book. She makes it pretty clear what it’s all about with that title.

    • CMJ

      Except some of what she’s saying isn’t really true.

    • Kelly

      So what? Every diet or exercise book out there has a good amount of bullshit in it. Especially when you take into account all of the different schools of thought concerning diet and exercise and good health in general.

      No book on that subject will ever really be true to everyone.

    • Katia

      This is very true!

  • thisshortenough

    I bought the book because I thought it was gonna be the sort of tough love thing written by a former fat bitch but it was the most condescending bit if tripe I’ve ever read.

  • Kay_Sue

    She can pry my “fizzy drinks” out of my cold dead hands.

    Actually, scratch that. She wouldn’t stand a chance.

    Also, fuck her. *chews another Reese’s miniature* Fuck her.

  • JennyWren

    This is just plain silly. I like running, but it’s definitely not the key to weight loss and it definitely doesn’t work for everyone. Most runners I know who are really at the top of their game combine running with weight/resistance training, and that’s certainly what you have to do to get real visible results from exercise. I think women and books like this are the reason many people don’t stick with exercise- inflated expectations and too much pressure. Exercise should make you feel better and help your daily life- turning it into a penance doesn’t work for anyone.

  • AlbinoWino

    I guess Ruth missed the many studies that show guilt tripping people actually makes them gain weight, not lose it. But honestly, who would buy this book? I have no desire to have a trainer who belittles me to make me fit. Why would I want that from a book?