Kate Upton’s “Weightless Ample Bosom” Will Defy Gravity For Sports Illustrated’s 50th Anniversary

NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 24: Kate Upton joins Team Gillette this Movember, encouraging men everywhere to achieve the perfect Mo using the Gillette Fusion ProGlide Styler on October 24, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Gillette)

Taking a cue from last year’s wildly successful Gravity, Sports Illustrated shot Kate Upton in some sort of zero gravity space for their 50th anniversary issue. Upton is an SI and teen boy favorite, and has appeared on the cover of their Swimsuit Issue for the past two years.

Sports Illustrated has always been at the forefront of taking pictures of hot girls, and so it’s not surprising that they’re leading the charge into the final frontier of taking pictures of hot girls in outer space. According to Page Six, SI got access to a zero-gravity chamber, threw Upton inside, and told her to make sexy faces. Upton was styled in some sort of Barbarella get-up which included, and this is a direct quote, “a silver swimsuit with weightless ample bosom and big hair.” If any book agents are reading this currently, please feel free to get in touch if you’re interested in helping me publish my book of space erotica called Weightless Ample Bosoms and Humongous Alien Penises: A Space Odyssey.

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Page Six’s source also told them that the 50th anniversary issue will feature such greats as Christie Brinkley, Tyra Banks, Carol Alt, and Bar Refaeli, but there’s no indication that they will also cruise through space. Nobody knows who will grace the cover, but smart money’s on Upton’s ample bosom. I mean once you spring for the zero gravity chamber, you may as well make it a cover. That’s just a solid business decision.

Photo: Getty Images, Sports Illustrated

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    • Lindsey Conklin

      hahahaha space erotica: Weightless Ample Bosoms and Humongous Alien Penises: A Space Odyssey…too funny