Another day, another victim of a horrible photoshop disaster. This time, the victim is Nicole Kidman and the perpetrator is whoever told the editor that legs are supposed to be eight feet long and skin is not supposed to have a texture.
In images for the Jimmy Choo Spring/Summer 2014 campaign, which the Herald Sun notes is “ironically called Nature Unleashed,” Kidman appears with an itsy bitsy waist, shiny hair and a pair of legs that are longer and more inexplicable that Big Brother still being on television. Her skin has zero texture, her hair looks artificial, and her face doesn’t even look like her face.
Nicole Kidman looks gorgeous approximately every second of the day. Nicole Kidman does not, however, look like this. This is, perhaps, an eerily plastic representation of what she looks like, or perhaps a preview to the upcoming Nicole Kidman edition Barbie (she fights crime and Scientology!), but this is not Nicole Kidman.
“Her poses are striking yet unexpected and her natural beauty is mesmerising,” said Sandra Choi, Creative Director of Jimmy Choo. And yet they opted to all but diminish anything natural about her appearance and made it all unexpected; it is always unexpected when a human being ceases to look like herself. Why didn’t Jimmy Choo just order a Real Doll who vaguely resembled Kidman and get on with it if they didn’t want her actual face to be the company’s face?
In another ad, the believability of Kidman’s legs decreases below Barbie level, as even Barbies cannot bed theirs this way:
While, as I mentioned, the ads are unexpected in a way because Kidman barely looks like herself, they certainly are not unexpected in the entertainment industry. Indeed, it is more frustrating than anything else to see stars repeatedly photoshopped, but it is 100% understood that most images of famous and non-famous people alike will be heavily composed. Is there a point when we will stop morphing women’s faces into textureless, creaseless mannequin heads?