As part of my new years resolutions for basket cases, I decided to do yoga twice a week. Yoga helps me keep an even keel and succeeds where other holistic or natural treatments fail, and I’ve seriously been slacking. Since I spent the first week of January doing exactly no yoga, I got it in my head to do yoga everyday for one week to kind of shock my system into self care. Here’s my diary of the week I spent doing yoga everyday (ish).
Was about to do yoga, drank wine instead. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I may be the first person in the history of the world who is too anxious to go to a yoga class with the intention of becoming less anxious. I decided since obviously everyone at a class would be judging my physical fitness, I should do a few practice sessions at home to get back in shape. Most reasonable experts would tell you that a two day crash course in yoga isn’t really enough to change your body in any way, but I have never been one to listen to reason.
I found a 30 minute Youtube yoga for anxiety session, thinking that 30 minutes would be a nice, easy way to get back into things. Unfortunately, I realized I didn’t have my yoga mat, so I used a towel which slipped out from under me no less than four times. I tried to focus on my breathing and finding some sense of balance, but I was much more out of shape than I thought and it turned out to be much more physically challenging. As much as I tried to keep my breaths consistent and deep, I mostly panted or held my breath out of fear that I would fall. It wasn’t the best start, but afterwards I did feel a sense of relaxed calm, even though I kept beating myself up for struggling through it so much.
I repeated the same 30 minute Youtube session from the day before, and while I still struggled physically because I have the arm strength of a newborn T-Rex, I noticed that I was able to turn my brain off for small periods, which is a major victory. I only fell over once, too. Tomorrow, I’m going to a class.