Ralph Lauren’s Sochi Olympics Uniforms Are Heinous

Well, sketches and images of the uniforms the 2014 US Winter Olympic team is going to wear in Sochi this year have been released. And….they’re heinous.

Ralph Lauren designed them! Ralph, what the hell were you thinking? These jackets look like clothes for preppy elves and nutcrackers who are heading to Vail for the weekend, not talented and diverse American athletes. Actually wait, they’re not even that preppy. They look more like what Buddy the elf from the movie Elf would wear if he were invited to carry the Olympic torch. Can’t you just see him in one of those hats, holding flames aloft and exclaiming stuff about Santa?

The ones Ralph Lauren designed for the 2012 Summer Olympics were certainly no better, although they looked a lot less like something you’d find on a children’s show about the zany and patriotic inhabitants of a ski lodge. Here’s what the opening ceremonies uniforms look like on actual humans on this morning’s TODAY show:

Even weirder and more elf-like, right? What’s the deal with the nubby hats and ill-fitting white pants?  If you stripped off about half of those stars and stripes, they might maybe be acceptable but as they are now, I just don’t get it. How hard is it to design something that’s red, white and blue, somewhat wintry, and that doesn’t look like a total joke? I get that the imagery for the opening ceremonies is supposed to be bold and recognizable and oh-so-American, but it wouldn’t hurt if the adjectives classic, classy or understated were involved, as well.

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    • CMJ

      That is like a Christmas sweater you buy as a joke to wear at an ugly sweater party.

    • elle

      They are truly unattractive and ill fitting

    • kf

      There’s no structure ANYWHERE in that outfit. Baggy sweatpants(?), too thick shlubby sweater, and big floppy wool hat. BLAH.

    • April Dawn Bell

      Ralph Lauren needs to issue a public apology.

    • Suzie

      Repulsive sweaters. That damn Polo logo takes up 1/4 of the front. The slightly more palatable moose sweater is no better – no pony on the front, instead there is a big POLO! Someone should have reminded Mr. “Everyone wants my life” who he was designing for. Right now I’m watching US VS FINLAND hockey, and Finland’s sweaters look way better (yes, they’re called sweaters – not jerseys).

    • rca

      sorry guys RL did not ask design ideas from you :(

    • Ironweeds

      Silly looking sweater.