Your Children Aren’t Safe From Red-Lipped Harlots, Reliable Source BBC Reports

2013 American Music Awards katy perry

Next time you are decorating your face with your bright red whore paint, won’t you stop to think of the children?

Luckily for the children of Great Britain, the BBC is looking out for them and has sworn to protect their fragile little minds by banning red lipstick on any female television personalities who appear during that station’s children’s programming block.

According to Refinery29, the move is part of a broader effort to stop the female television personalities from appearing on children’s programming in any way that could be considered sexy or provocative. (People are very committed to protecting children from sexy women. Remember Katy Perry once got in trouble with Sesame Street for having breasts near Elmo.)

The Daily Mail says women must avoid the red lipstick and provocative outfits because they must be “fantastic role models,” and apparently role models do not wear red lipstick, even though when I was a kid I wanted to be Gwen Stefani, and I stand by that desire today.

The ban is interesting because the red lipstick itself is being called out specifically as one of the things inherently too sexy to show children. Even though countless Internet surveys indicate that dudes hate red lipstick and find it distinctly unsexy, the crimson slap is apparently too loaded with sexual connotations to appear on daytime television. If they said “no nipple pasties,” or even banned crop tops or short shorts, we could understand it. But red lipstick? A matte red lip is pretty daytime appropriate these days. Our grandmothers might not truck with our skinny jeans or crop tops, but plenty of them wore red lips to the grocery store.

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