• Mon, Feb 3 - 10:01 am ET

Queen Orders Kate Middleton To Get Classy Lady Makeover, Sick Of Seeing Her Whorish Knees

kate middleton legs

Kate Middleton may have won herself a spot on Vanity Fair’s International Best-Dressed List, but that still doesn’t mean the Queen trusts her to dress herself like a grown-up.

According to The Mail on Sunday, the Queen has issued some commands from on high as to how Kate Middleton should be dressed when she tours Australia in April with Prince William and Prince George. Among the commands is that the Duchess of Cambridge will be wearing lower hemlines than she usually goes in for. Given Kate Middleton’s height and long, long legs, the longer skirt command indicates she’ll likely be trading in her Zara and Topshop favorites for custom looks. The light, flirty hems Kate Middleton seems to favor are also being retired to avoid potential wardrobe malfunctions, like when the wind occasionally blows her skirt up an inch or two and people freak out about seeing the lower thigh of the future Queen.

The Duchess of Cambridge does not exactly run around in mini dresses, so we can’t imagine that making her look even more conservative will get people excited about the cool new royals, but the makeover does come with an upside. That upside is diamonds, lots and lots of diamonds. For the Australia trip, the Queen offered Kate Middleton her personal dresser, Angela Kelly—who is basically the librarian of the Queen’s jewelry collection—to select some “statement jewelry” including gemstones and tiaras.

The Mail reports that the Duchess of Cambridge is “encouraged to wear the tiaras favored by the Queen and the Queen Mother.” Middleton’s hair stylist has recently undergone a master class in attaching tiaras so she’ll be able to style Middleton’s hair for formal events and attach the multi-million-dollar diamond tiaras securely.

While the idea of Kate Middleton starting to dress even more conservatively than usual does not exactly thrill us, we would be willing to spend the rest of our lives in a nun’s habit in exchange for a giant antique diamond tiara, so at least we’ll have those to look at.

tiara

 

Tiara pictures are the new cat videos.

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  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Kate always looks so classy. Seems unnecessary.

    • DuchessLazy

      LOL, oh if you think so, look up a site called “kate middleton chat” !!!!

      I guess you’ve never seen Waity’s photos with her dress up in the air, or without underwear, or ect ????? Time for her to grow up.

  • Alishmcmalish Dayum

    If I had legs like her’s I’d wear booty shorts everywhere.

    • DuchessLazy

      She’s gone without undies in public and got her unclothed butt photographed. Is that close enough ?

  • Chelsea

    Your source, the DM, is the least reliable one on the internet.

    • Kat

      They don’t call it Daily Fail for nothing!

    • DuchessLazy

      They don’t call Kate “Kannot” for nothing either. It’s “Willnot and Kannot” they are called in the UK for their lack of work ethic. The POOR over-worked Waity did nothing all January ….then went off on vacation. She is pointless.

    • DuchessLazy

      No they aren’t – and their readers are the most honest in their opinions and comments on Waity Kate the duchess of dolittle.

  • jeanie jay

    Also, that’s the Lannoy tiara. It belongs to the Hereditary Grand Duchess of Luxembourg, aka A Royal Who Isn’t British. (Seriously, where’s the love for the Cambridge Lover’s Knot?)

  • DuchessLazy

    FINALLY.
    What took them so long to try to get that bimbo under control ?
    SERIOUSLY.
    Middleton has a long history of wearing short, flouncy inappropriate dresses and she knows from experience that if a wind kicks up her dress will fly. And it has, numerous times. She’s sick in the head, she’s 32 years old and had to be TOLD how to dress like an adult and a professional.
    The worst incident was when the genius wore a short yellow dress to Calgary,Canada WITHOUT PANTIES and a wind blew the dress up….yes photos of her bare butt were taken and I’m sure her front was seen as well -disgusting !!! This went down in front a child cancer victim who was there to meet Middleton. But it was never addressed, she got away with that public indecency , plus more prior to that and after that as well. Middleton is a great example of an exhibitionist.
    Check out a YouTube video called “kate middleton gives Calgary the bum’s rush”.

    • IHateDuchessLazy

      Jesus – you are quite obviously a jealous whore. Maybe if you spent some time at the gym and less time replying to every comment you would be able to get a life of your own.

    • http://laurele.livejournal.com laurele

      Kate is a cheap whore and a leech living off her country’s taxpayers. There is nothing to be jealous of. She should model for Penthouse or Hustler; at least that way she would be earning a living.

    • KarenMS

      Uh this is a weird amount of hate. Very weird.