• Tue, Feb 4 - 11:00 am ET

Harlotry Prostitorials: How The Pros Avoid The Pitfalls Of Sex Hair

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Cate is something of a renaissance sex worker and has held numerous interesting jobs in the adult industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry. In the “Prostitorials” series, she will be offering her tips and tricks pros like her use to stay gorgeous before, during and after the fun stuff.

Beauty is a hugely important part of sex work. While a pretty face and bangin’ body hardly guarantee success, it certainly helps your business to be easy on the eyes. Natural beauty only gets you so far, of course. I’m no troll, but if I were to show up for bookings with ratty hair and no makeup, I’m sure my clients wouldn’t be too pleased.

The thing that makes sex worker beauty somewhat different than normal beauty is that, especially in escorting, we need hair and makeup that will hold up to the labor we do–namely sex. I’ve done both high volume, low rate and low volume, high rate work, and the perils of sex hair are real. Fortunately, being an ingenious young lady, I’ve come up with two hairstyles that lend themselves very well to my work, and I’m going to share them with you guys. You also get to see my real face, which is a bonus for those of you who have been wondering what I look like. Since I like to pretend I’m a time traveler from midcentury America and my main selling point is that I’m a pervy pinup, both of these hairstyles are, while not really proper vintage hair, certainly vintage-inspired. Neither hairstyle is very complicated, the one thing that makes each style especial is its sturdiness. These are the titanium reinforced versions of pretty average hairstyles.

This week I’m showing you how to do a low-volume, high rate hairstyle. This is what I would do to my hair when I would see the kind of client who spends big money, with a relatively small amount of sex. It looks soft and touchable, but can hold up to all but the hardest fucking.

Start with your regular hair, parted on the side. This is actually the leftovers of an earlier set that I’ve combed out, and my hair does not wave this perfectly in real life, but it doesn’t really matter much.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Curl your hair in some way. I personally prefer wet sets, since they’re sturdier and my hair does not really respond to heat, so I’m going to be doing a little foam roller tutorial here too.

Foam rollers are actually very easy. Use damp hair or dampen your hair with setting lotion (I am a die-hard fan of Lottabody, but different strokes) and separate little sections of hair like this.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Then wrap them around rollers of your choice like this.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Since I have been growing out bangs for the past year and a half, I have a chunk of hair in the front of my head that is shorter than everything else. I usually pin curl that, since it doesn’t like rollers.

Once your hair is in rollers, you can pretend to be a pin up, shocked that you were caught with ugly pink sponges on your head.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Quickly tie your hair up in a scarf, because seriously, rollers are gross, (also the scarf keeps them in place) and pose like Rosie.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Go to sleep. Sleep all night. Sweet dreams!

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

You probably don’t wear a full face of makeup to sleep. You’ll regret it in the morning when you wake up as a volcano-faced clown.

Wake up and greet the day! Drink some coffee, you deserve it. Then take out the rollers.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Brush your hair with a round brush. You should have soft, pretty waves. Got it? Good! You’re ready to start!

Take a little section of hair at the front of your hairline from the side your part is on. This section should be wider than it is thick, and should go from about your temple to the top of your ear. Pull that section tightly up and back, like this.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Secure that shit with as many bobby pins as you can hide in your hair. I’m personally a huge fan of bobby pins specifically made for thin, fine hair. Those little guys latch on and do not let go. Adjust the loose part of the section to fall naturally. Boom! One side is finished. Observe how, as I pretend to give a blowjob, my hair is sufficiently far away from my mouth that it won’t get gross, yet it doesn’t LOOK pinned to death.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Now you’re ready to do the other side. If you have weird half-grown-out bangs like I do, you’ll need to pin those on top of the pinned-back front section, but otherwise the process is the same.

Once you have everything in the front of your hair pinned back, pull a little piece of hair from the side of your hair forward and pin that down, too.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

You’re almost ready for work!

Grab your strongest hairspray.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Personally, I like Aussie Instant Freeze as it is the finest hairspray in all the land, but like I said earlier, different stuff works for different people. If you’re just doing ho hair for a romantic night in, maybe you don’t need such crazy hold.

Now, SPRAY THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR HAIR. Make sure you get every single part of it.

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

You’re done!

Check out our first sex-proof hair tutorial in the "Harlotry Prostitorials" series featuring our resident sex worker!

Go have good sex, or whatever you need indestructible hair for!

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  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Hair looks great! Now, where did you get your lip color? Love.

    • Samantha Escobar

      I second this question.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      I learned about it from your Old Hollywood Halloween tutorial! You have it!

    • Samantha Escobar

      AHHH ITS THE STILA ONE.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      The Stila one is THE BEST ONE. Other than that, I like The Balm in Mia Moore, but I can’t eat in that without getting a chola line and I really like food, so it isn’t my favorite.

    • Samantha Escobar

      I love Mia Moore! It’s great and beautiful and soft, but good gracious that shit comes off easily.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      It’s Stila Stay All Day liquid lipstick in Beso! It will NOT be appearing in my makeup Prostitorial, as contrary to popular belief, most truly talented hos do not wear bold lipstick at work. Remember the Belle Jolie “Mark Your Man” campaign from Mad Men? Yeah, you don’t want to be marking someone else’s man, thereby potentially violating their discretion.

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      WAIT I ACTUALLY HAVE THAT! I’m obsessed with it. It lasts forever.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      Right? I mean, it doesn’t QUITE actually stay all day, but I can usually get a good 4-6 hours out of it, depending on how much greasy food I eat in that time span.

    • Kaitlin Reilly

      That was the one warning the salesperson told me at Sephora — avoid greasy foods while wearing it. I’ve showered and washed my face and had it stay on.

  • Casual observer

    Thanks for this enjoyable entry into this series, and your pictures look great. I have a comment and two questions. First of all, that picture of you pretending to give a blow job is going to be stuck in my head for . . . well . . . forever, so thanks for that! I was wondering about your “Dresden was firebombed” tattoo. I know the story of Dresden, but that’s a very unusual tattoo. Care to elaborate? Also, I have noticed a lot of turnover at your old employer recently. Do you know what is happening there and would you and your some of your fellow old coworkers ever consider opening a rival business or going to work for one of the other pro dungeons in the city? Thanks.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      I’ve been a big Kurt Vonnegut fan since I was about fifteen, when I did that tattoo. It’s a reference to Slaughterhouse Five.

      As to my old place of employment, all I’ll say is, there were a lot of factors that contributed to my departure, and beyond that I’m going to be a lady for once in my life and say no more.

      P.S. Thanks for the compliment on the pictures! They’re 100% iPhone selfies taken at about midnight in my bedroom, so that means a lot.

  • Samantha Escobar

    I just love this tutorial so much. Seriously.

  • Naomi

    This is a f*cking splendid idea for a column. No pun intended.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      Thank you! It was actually suggested by a reader. I listen to you guys!

  • Kay_Sue

    I must say, I have avoided foam rollers for…well, forever, actually…because the only other person I have seen use them is my grandmother.

    You’ve made them look sexy, and now I’ve got to get a set and try them out. I honestly would never have believed before reading this that that would be possible! ;)

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      “You’ve made [foam rollers] look sexy” is possibly one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.

      But really I recommend them! They aren’t bad to sleep on and they get great, long lasting results! Plus they’re better for your hair than heat, and since my hair rejects heat styling, they’re more practices for me.

  • LynnKell

    I so, so, so, so wanted to see your face! I don’t know, it felt like the final step to consider you my e-bff.

    I’ll give the ‘do a go, I looks so pretty and is also quite functional!!

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      Hello new e-BFF!
      One of the things I was most psyched for with this tutorial was the opportunity to show my face. I think it adds to my humanization, and your comment really affirmed that. I’m a real, pale person with real pimples and under-eye bags.

    • Samantha Escobar

      And real awesomely arched eyebrows, girl.

    • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

      Thanks! I do them myself!

    • http://SommelierinSneakers.blogspot.com/ SomminSneakers

      You look awesome with cold cream on your face though, and that is a TOTAL TALENT.

  • I Like Pizza

    I can’t tell what you’re doing with the last pinning step. Could we get a bit more light in the next one? Love this series already though.

  • NightShifts

    Hi there! I’ve been following your blog for a long time and I love it. I’ve had a question that’s been burning in my head for weeks now, and I’d love it if you could answer it…how do you deal with taxes? Do you fill out a self-employment attachment, or list the income as monetary gifts, or what? I’m new-ish to the industry and am trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to report my income. Last year I didn’t make enough to bump above the income level that requires a tax form, but this year I might. Well, if you have any answers or suggestions, I’d love to hear it!

  • Ivy

    This is my go-to hairstyle for easy pretty hair. Especially the day after a show or something when my hairs a mess from all the curling and products I put it through. And I agree, it’s blowjob friendly. You pretty much look exactly like I imagined and I am going to buy that lipstick IMMEDIATELY.

  • Crayzcheshire

    love the tutorial… but would kindly request higher quality photos for next time, please!