• Fri, Feb 7 - 9:00 am ET

20 Things To NOT Say To Someone Wearing Red Lipstick

shutterstock_63110260

Bold lip colors are amazing. They can sexify any look, they can make you stand out in a crowd, and when used correctly, they have the power to terrify 87 percent of weak men. Only the badassest of badasses can handle red lips… as evidenced by the exhausting comments we lipstick enthusiasts endure on a daily basis. If you’re a fan of bright glosses and dark stains, you’ve heard at least a few of these before. Here are 20 things you should NEVER say to a woman while she’s wearing red lipstick.

  1. Do you think guys are actually attracted to that?
  2. That’s not sexy, it’s scary.
  3. So are you really into vampires or something?
  4. I’d love to be able to wear colors like that, but I just couldn’t.
  5. I’d love to be able to wear colors like that, but people who think I was trying too hard.
  6. I’d love to be able to wear colors like that, but my boyfriend would hate it.
  7. Doesn’t that color just get all over your boyfriend’s face/clothes/stuff?
  8. Are you wearing that to mark your boyfriend and keep other girls away?
  9. Don’t try to kiss me with that stuff on!
  10. Are they still accepting applications at your clown college?
  11. Are you walking fast because you’re late for orientation at your clown college?
  12. Are you dressed up because you’re giving a presentation today at your clown college?
  13. Any other half-assed comment that implies that people who want to wear bomb-ass bright lipstick must also know how to make balloon animals.
  14. How much do you charge?
  15. You look like a prostitute.
  16. You look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
  17. So are you really into Taylor Swift or something?
  18. So are you really into Marilyn Manson or something?
  19. Did you just eat a cherry Jolly Rancher or something?
  20. You’ve got a little something on your face.

Keep up the clown jokes, losers. We’ll keep looking like warrior goddesses and not giving a shit about your opinions.

Photo: Shutterstock

Share This Post:
  • Jade-Yue-Ryu

    For the clown presentation one here’s what you do. Look them directly in the eye and say, with a deadpanned expression. “Yes. I’m teaching the newbies how to skin annoying douchbags and hecklers and then use the skins for balloon animals.” grin maniacally and watch them edge away slowly while mentally cackling

  • anna

    I don’t mind 4 too much, as my friend has a very thin mouth and lipstick on her just looks smeary and wrong. She would always ask me until we bought a bunch of different consistency and voila! she needs a very matte orangey red that doesn’t slide one bit.
    I have done the masses a favor.

    • AmandaSam325

      I agree! Before I was brave enough to wear the bold lip colors, I would often say #4 to women because I was insanely impressed and jealous. They looked beautiful and any time I’d tried it before I looked ridiculous.

    • Anna

      Yeah. I was going to say I’m guilty of #4 and I usually say something about wishing I had the makeup skills and commitment to do red.

      The one time I tried it I didn’t check it in the bathroom for an hour and ended up with a terrible red lip liner only effect that has kept me from ever trying it again.

  • Lindsey Conklin

    #15. Ew…I love redlipstick but am totally guilty of #4

  • nestazhe265

    my Aunty Eva recently got a nice 12 month
    old Audi allroad Wagon by working off of a macbook… look at this site J­u­m­p­9­9­9­.­ℂ­o­m

  • http://toyboxkiller.tumblr.com/ Cate

    There are a couple you missed! Most of them are in the street harassment category, though, so I don’t know if they quite count.

    21. I like that lipstick! (In a tone that implies the man in question wants it all over his dick)
    22. You’ve got some really pretty lips!

    Personally, I’m fond of number 15. I usually point out that I am a prostitute, and I never wear red lipstick at work unless the client specifically requests it. Every moment is a teachable moment!

  • Victoria Umesi

    What’s wrong with number 4? Like, the color red clashes with my weird yellowy/brown skin tone…

  • http://omgbren.com/ bren lee gomez ♥

    Me to everyone wearing red lipstick: “Hot date tonight?”

  • Elizabeth Alexander

    are you sure you didn’t mean Marilyn Monroe? just since i can’t really remember Marilyn Manson rocking ruby lips. he’s more into black right?
    either way funny and sad article. I have never heard any of those things being said but if you have, i feel sorry for you

    • Elena

      Ehn. ¿Robert Smith, maybe?

  • Amanda

    I’m a makeup artist for MAC & if I’m not at work, I literally get this every day. A classic red is easier to pull off, but Jesus, if I even try a dark red or purple, people make comments left & right. & I hate #4, literally ANYONE can pull off any color they want. Its all about playing with different shades, undertones, textures & lipliners. You just gotta be willing to work for it a little bit.

  • Bridget

    I used to be afraid of red lipstick. Now I love it. My new favorite? Dark purple aka Cyber from MAC. IN. LOVE.

  • http://wendybrandes.com/blog/ WendyB

    Ha ha! Love it. I’ve gotten 1, 2, 4, 5 and 6.

  • Herpderp

    I dunno, for 9, I would be pretty mad if someone kissed me with red lipstick on cos that shit gets everywhere and is a pain to wash off.
    As for 4, I honestly cannot pull off red lipstick because I have olive skin and a kinda childlike face so I just look like a dragqueen… so when I say that to people I legitimately wish I could pull it off like them.

  • March

    …I can kinda relate to number 9. That is, when it’s someone you don’t know well at some party or other, or an acquaintance on the street. I really can’t blame people for not wanting red lipstick marks on their cheeks, and we simply can’t assume that all the bright red lipstick in the world is kissproof and non-staining.