Female Olympian’s ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’ Proves We’re All Still A Bunch of Prudes

Speed Skating - Winter Olympics Day 2

Russian speedskater Olga Graf earned herself a bronze medal in Sunday’s women’s 3000 meter race, and then celebrated with what’s being heralded as a massive “wardrobe malfunction.” In what turned out to be the least revealing flashing of all time, Graf unzipped her suit after winning, and flashed a bit of chest. At this point, I can’t even remember what she won or who she is because all I can think about is the possibility of seeing a bare chested woman.

When I say Graf showed her chest, I don’t mean breasts–we’re talking sternum to navel. Exactly zero breasts were showed to the world, but God forbid a woman even come close. Apparently Graf forgot that she had nothing on underneath, and “sheepishly” explained the incident through a translator (“sheepishly” is People‘s word choice).

“We have very good suits and they are very tight. … You just want to breathe and you want to take off your suit. Only afterward did I realize that maybe this video will appear on YouTube. But I don’t think it will be so bad.”

How silly of her to think that people wouldn’t focus on her near titty show as opposed to her remarkable feats of athleticism. What bronze medal? She almost showed her boobs!

I am not huge into sports that are not basketball carried about by the Los Angeles Lakers, but how many photos and videos have we seen that show men ripping off their shirts to celebrate some victory? It’s not just victories–for some reason NBA players love to rip off their shirts when they get ejected from games, and nobody ever thinks twice about it. It doesn’t take a genius to see that this whole “wardrobe malfunction” is manufactured hysteria based on the notion that women’s bodies are inherently shameful and should be covered. If People covers a male speedskater unzipping his suit to expose his chest, I’ll be slack jawed with shock.

You can check out the fully unzipped, very work safe pictures over here. You’ll see that this is a bunch of people getting all worked up over nothing; it’s click bait at best, and misogynistic at worst. Graf is an athlete. Her body is an incredibly tuned machine that can do things most of us can never even dream of, and should be thought of as such. Instead, we’re freaking out that Graf has breasts that the world was almost subjected to seeing. Calm down, world. Your massive fear and hatred of female bodies is showing.

Photo: Getty Images

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    • Lindsey Conklin

      seriously! I guarantee that would be the first thing I’d do, too. how inappropriate of a woman to reveal her flesh post intense workout. ugh

    • wind_569

      It appears to me that the only ones making a big deal about this is the media. There is really no controversy here other than that that the media is trying to create.

    • LynnKell

      We all have to sort out our priorities… I remember that in “Catching fire” they had to censor Johanna’s couple “fuck you”s otherwise, the rating would go up. It is a movie about kids killing each other because of evil people and they think a cursing is the most disturbing thing…
      Here, we make a fuzz for *almost* boobs instead of “awesome physical achievement”

    • Bull-ish-pish

      Yep, it’s just the way it goes. Media drama, then feminist drama. Or, for example of Miley Cirus, media drama, then parents drama. There’s always one offended side – then again, people love drama, so that’s no surprise. Ehh.

    • http://www.blomlaw.co.nz/ John Cox

      Americans are prudes – except when they are engaged in wife-swapping or orgies. Only Al-Qaeda supporters would be more excited by the idea of female flesh. There isn’t a more sex-obsessed and hypocritical nation than the USA under the sun. Russians or Europeans couldn’t care less.