Kate Middleton made her first official appearance of 2014 last night at the National Portrait Gallery in London, and the world watched with bated breath to see the results of her Queen-ordered “classy lady” makeover. But this time even the giant honking diamond necklace K-Midz is wearing is overshadowed by the fact that her hair looks awful. Frankly, we’re shocked. This is not a look we expected from Princess Shinylocks and her fancy hairstylists.
The navy blue silk tulle Jenny Packham dress is actually a repeat of Sam’s favorite Kate Middleton look, which the Duchess wore to the 100 Women of Hedge Funds gala dinner in October. It’s a pretty dress, though for some reason it seems to make her hunch her shoulders when she walks. Last time she accessorized with just a delicate bracelet and her famously soft, shiny, perfect hair. But this time she brought out the big guns, in the form of a giant diamond necklace from the Queen’s collection. Vanity Fair identifies it as the Nizam of Hyderabad diamond necklace. (You know you are fancy when your jewelry has a name.) Inexplicably, her hair looks pretty awful.
The curls on the bottom are jumbled together messily, and at the top her hair looks flat and a bit greasy. This is literally what my hair looked like when I woke up the day after prom with all my makeup smeared all over my face. While it’s almost certainly better than I could put together on my own, it’s a very sad look for the royal previously known as Princess Shinylocks.
The Queen’s orders are said to be for the Duchess of Cambridge to rock fewer high-low looks (like Zara chokers with Roland Mouret gowns) and more high-high looks, with lots of real jewelry and tiaras, so we’ll likely be seeing a lot more museum-quality diamonds around Kate Middleton’s neck in the future. But it doesn’t matter how many diamonds they stick on her; the jewels are always going to be outshone by whatever is going on on top of her head. The Duchess’ hair stylist had better get her head back in the game, fast.