• Mon, Feb 17 - 2:00 pm ET

Harlotry Prostitorials: How To Get High Volume, Low Rate Sex Hair That Stays Put

1960: Sultry French actress Brigitte Bardot in bed. (Photo by Keystone Features/Getty Images)

Photo: Keystone Features/Getty Images

Cate is something of a renaissance sex worker and has held numerous interesting jobs in the adult industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry. In the “Prostitorials” series, she will be offering her tips and tricks pros like her use to stay gorgeous before, during and after the fun stuff.

Last week, I showed you all how to do the hairstyle I most often used for my high rate, low volume independent escorting work. This week you get to see the hairstyle I used for low rate, high volume work. THIS is a hairstyle that can get mashed into a pillow over and over again with very few repercussions.

In high volume work, there is usually very little time between appointments. Sometimes I had no more than five minutes to touch up my makeup, smooth out my hair, and get my lingerie back on before the next client was knocking at my door. This creates some very unique hair challenges, as most vintage hairstyles, my preferred look, don’t exactly respond well to hard fucking.

Usually I stick with the 1940s and 50s. Those styles suit me best, most of my wardrobe is from somewhere from 1935-1956, and I like my hair to match whatever else I’m wearing.

However, it quickly became clear to me that my usual pseudo 40s curls were not going to cut it. One day of answering the door looking like a bedraggled mess was enough before I started seeking alternatives. I tried all sorts of things, but if it was something functional like a ponytail, it didn’t look sexy enough for hoin’.

Then I remembered Brigitte Bardot‘s bouffant. There are innumerable pictures of Miss Bardot looking ravishing with what looks almost like a beehive, but this one picture stood out.

The sturdy bouffant! The bow headband! The soft, slightly loose at the back of her head, lifted out of harm’s way! I might not really be able to pull of something as iconically 60s as this exact hairstyle, but I could come close, and I could keep up my vintage style.

The first step was, of course, curls. I talked about sponge rollers last week, and if you forget, you can always go back and check it out.

Once I take the curlers out, though, that’s when things change.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

I start with a smallish barrette. I like this metal one, but I guess plastic works for some people too. Unless you’re a she-wolf like me with comb-breaking quantities of hair, you probably could just do a pretty small clip.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Grab some sections from the sides and bottom of your hair and pull it up into a small high ponytail. Leave a little section in the front free. I use my awkward bangs, you can use whatever is most convenient.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Leave the middle section loose for a sexy mullet effect.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Now, hold on tight to your little ponytail and pull up the loose hair it’s wrapped around, making a little hair bulge. Here are two views.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays! Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

(If your hair isn’t a barely-tamable mane of evil, it might help to back-comb your hair bulge a bit, but I am fortunate/unfortunate in that my hair pretty much stands up on its own with very little help.)

Now, stick a bunch of bobby pins into your hair bulge to cement it in place. Seriously, just stick bobby pins everywhere it seems they could be needed. Don’t stop until you are no longer able to hide them in your hair. At this point you also should shape the hair bulge a bit to make it more of a tiny bouffant than a haphazard collection of strands and take care of whatever you have going on in the front. Pin it to the side and, of course, cement it with a unholy number of bobby pins. Make a nice little swoop for yourself.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Put three bobby pins just at the edge of your hairline, under your hair, to keep the front piece from flopping forward.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Now, spray! Spray your heart out! Get everything on your head!

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

Boom, you’re ready for high volume hoin’! Go get on your back, put your legs in the air, and make some money. Or not. It isn’t really that simple.

Harlotry Prostitorials: How to get low rate, high volume sex hair that stays!

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  • Pam

    Can we go back to the “real life” harlotry columns? It’s not the I don’t enjoy the hair tutorials (although maybe it’s my screen but the pictures are pretty dark and I’m having trouble following); but one of the reasons I come to the gloss on Mondays is for these columns!

    • Crayzcheshire

      Yeah… would much appreciate better quality photos too :/

  • Porkchop

    There’s not enough light on your hair! I can’t see the fabulous results in enough detail.

    If you’re going to all the trouble of sponge rollers anyway, I find that if I do my whole head and don’t brush it, just fingercomb, then put it in a loose pile on the back of my head, it lasts three whole days. Day one is a jazz age mass of curls, day two (when I first brush it) is like a windblown-1950s look, and then by day three you have a Bardot-esque tousle with unwinding ringlets hanging around your face.

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