• Tue, Feb 18 - 8:13 am ET

Miley Cyrus Puts A Fan’s Thong In Her Mouth, Causing Vomit To Come Out Of Mine

Miley Cyrus "Bangerz Tour" - Tour Opener - Vancouver, BC

Alright, fans of music and of thong style underwear. You have been outdone by a fan at a Miley Cyrus concert during her Bangerz tour, who threw a thong on stage which Cyrus then grabbed and put into her mouth. Party in the USA, indeed.

My first area of concern in this matter is primarily hygiene. Why didn’t Billy Ray Cyrus teach Miley that you don’t just pick up underpants and put them in your mouth? In fact, the most frequent interaction I witness between parents and toddlers includes the parents slapping some filthy thing out of the kid’s mouth. Why was Billy Ray like “sure, Destiny Hope, put the dog toy in your mouth. Do you want some scissors?” Underpants can be pretty gross and I’m really not sure what could be less hygienic than a thong from a stranger. Seriously, what could be more disgusting than a stranger’s underpants, even when they’re not in your mouth? I suppose a person with yeast infection could just hop on stage and rub his or her genitals all over Miley’s face, and that probably would have been worse. But in the absence of a person to do that, putting a stranger’s thong in her mouth was the next best most disgusting thing.

miley cyrus thong in mouth

Concern number two: who is still wearing thongs? You know we figured out how to avoid underwear lines without having underpants go up your butt, right? They make all of these awesome undies that are seamless now and you don’t have to awkwardly buy a million of those 5/$25 thongs at Victoria’s Secret that just fall apart.

Coming to you next week: Cyrus can’t stop a mean case of thrush.

Photo: Getty Images, Twitter [H/T Hollywood Life]

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  • Charmless

    She effectively went down on a stranger, which many people have done but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous and icky.

  • Mars

    I just wanted to give you a round of applause for the headline. *clap clap clap*

  • Aristocles

    I hate this thing, this Virus.

  • ugh

    I’m so tired of her. She has no talent, she gets by entirely by being a softcore stripper. Bieber may be as repulsive as her but at least he can carry a tune. She’s nothing but a pathetic attention whore and I’m sick of gagging whenever I see her in some ridiculous, lascivious pose.

  • Michael

    It’s just underwear. People need to stop being so sensitive.