Do you remember forcing your Barbie dolls to jointlessly walk down the aisle of your imaginary wedding? Do you still have your grade school notebook that’s covered with gel pen autographs from when you were convinced you’d become Mrs. Van Der Beek? You’re in the majority. And you’re not crazy.
According to the world’s most plentiful source of lowest common denominator nonsense, The Daily Mail, most single women already have their future weddings fully planned. This is also, apparently, a huge problem:
Two thirds of single females said there are certain aspects of their wedding they have had planned since they were a little girl, the study revealed. Nearly half of the 600 single women polled have decided which of her friends will be bridesmaids– a decision which is typically made at the tender age of 18.
The whole DM article has such an oddly sour tone (I automatically hate anything that chooses to call women “females,” for starters), as if every little girl who dreams about one day wearing a white dress is a crazed maniac. “At the tender age of 18?” I’m pretty sure I’ve had my wedding planned since the tender age of for-freaking-ever.Â While it’s equally normal (and probably much, much healthier) to hold off on going to cake tastings until you’re certain you’re having a wedding in the first place, it bums me out that someone’s acting like this is irrational behavior.
Maybe it sucks that our culture shoves WEDDINGS WEDDINGS WEDDINGS down our lady throats from the second we’re born, but why exactly is it a bad thing if we give in? I agree that reality shows about women competing to have the most glamorous reception or the sexiest bouquet are over the top, but at the end of the day, like… who cares?
If I want to look up what it would cost to rent a six-foot chocolate fountain or get an ice sculpture made in the likeness of Channing Tatum from Magic Mike, let me do it. If I want to preemptively choreograph the musical number my wedding party is going to be forced to participate in, just let me have that. If buying centerpieces from Etsy a decade in advance is wrong, then I kind of want to be right, but who cares if I’m not?
Basically, you shouldn’t let dumb rom-coms and bridezilla reality shows turn your future wedding into the be-all-end-all of your human existence, but you also shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to fantasize about something harmless and fun. Screw you and your judgey articles, Daily Mail. Let me shamefully browse the Kleinfeld Bridal website in peace.
Via Daily Mail / Photo: 30 Rock, NBC