It is common knowledge that meth cooks are ruining young people’s manicures all over the United States, but are you aware that they have actually instituted uniforms?* Meth entrepreneurs everywhere are scrambling to fit the narrow conventions society has deemed “appropriate” for them to look like after the likes of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman put into place such unrealistic standards.** One reported conformist cook was caught just this week wearing such fine style.
OneÂ Daniel KowalskiÂ from LaGrange Highlands, Illinois, was arrested this MondayÂ after cops received a tip regarding his hobbies–his primary hobby being the alleged manufacturing of meth. In 21-year-old Kowalski’s home, police reportedly found glass beakers, burners, instructions and chemicals that typically are associated with the making of methamphetamine. He also had an impressiveÂ 12 jars of psychedelic mushrooms, because he’s apparently hip like that.
The best (worst? weirdest? most f’ing hilarious?) part of this story, however, is that Kowalski was wearing a “Los Pollos Hermanos” shirt when he had his mugshot taken. For those of you who are unfortunately unaware, Los Pollos Hermanos is the name of a fictional fried chicken chain in AMC’sÂ Breaking Bad. Now, I do not know if Kowalski simply wears this shirt all over the place and by that right was highly likely to get caught in it, but I would argue that that’sÂ probably not the case and, in fact, this is actually just an amazing, bizarre coincidence.
Plus, if youÂ really want to enhance your wardrobe with aÂ Breaking Bad, you can always just follow our easy BBÂ costume guide! No meth necessary. Probably.
*This is a totally made up fact and I have zero knowledge on the meth industry or its glorious uniforms.
**This is also bullshit.