• Thu, Feb 27 - 2:41 pm ET

Drew Barrymore’s Wacky Beauty Advice Is Perfect For Anyone Looking To Go Blind

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You can’t really deny that Drew Barrymore is an adorable human being. She’s usually smiling her goofball smile, she’s never afraid to make bold fashion choices, and she says more sensible things about body image than most other celebrities combined. She’s earned my respect so many times that I feel like I can make fun of her today… in a sisterly way.

With that in mind, her recent interview with Elle contains some batshit beauty tips. Ready for this?

I can find any way to do a face of makeup if I have no makeup on. I’d like find berries at a bodega and crush them on my cheeks, I’d run into a restaurant and ask if they had any spare wine corks and then burn the ends and make a kohl eye. Really, has nobody ever burned wine corks at a party and drawn on your face? Like I’d know what to do even if I was stuck out in nature. But I still can’t figure out how to make that perfect concealer on the run.

So many thoughts running through my mind. For starters, wouldn’t it be great to be so rich that you could waste berries by crushing them on your face? I haven’t tasted a raspberry since I lived with my parents. Second of all, how in the world is running into a restaurant and asking someone to dig up their old wine corks at all faster than stopping by CVS and buying an actual eyeliner? Third of all, rubbing burnt cork on your eyes might be quirky, but it’s also not a good idea. Why would you risk causing damage to a super delicate part of your body when there are thousands of products readily available at the drug store that don’t involve drinking a whole bottle of wine and then jabbing yourself in the face with fire? I’m pretty sure people did this stuff in the Middle Ages. And they all died.

I’m not sure why I’m surprised to hear that someone who’s been famous for three decades– and incredibly rich from birth– doesn’t have a firm grasp on certain aspects of reality, but whatever. If you want to color on your face with burnt cork, have at it. I’ll just be over here, purchasing eyeliners and blushes like a boring person who doesn’t want to infect anything on her face.

Via Elle / Photo: Getty images

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  • Lindsey Conklin

    I will go makeup-less forever before I rub burnt cork on my face. Thanks anyway, Drew!

  • Inkygrl

    Um…ok, but the writer really can’t afford raspberries? Huh??

  • ewalsh

    I agree, the writer can afford blushes and eyeliners but can’t afford raspberries? I’d say that’s a case of bad priorities since the berries are also really good for a healthy body.

  • Crayzcheshire

    There’s a cheap & entertaining reality show segment in here somewhere…

  • NYCNanny

    Is this a serious article? She’s not saying she DOES run into restaurants and ask for wine corks… She’s saying she’s resourceful when it comes to makeup and beauty….which I think is fab. I’ve used the weirdest sh*t as makeup stand-ins. Burnt matches for eyeliner, hand creme for hair flyaways, etc…
    Sorry, but this is a ridiculous article.

  • NYCNanny

    Oh… and to everyone thinking burnt cork is worse for you than eyeliner, take a second look. Eyeliner and al makeup is FULL of chemicals which can irritate and cause awful reactions. Cork…not so much.

    *I am a makeup addict, so I’m not bashing chemical-y makeup…just pointing the ridiculousness out.*