Yesterday, we caught up on the best dressed Oscar Nominees in preparation of this weekend’s Academy Awards. But of course, having a best list means a worst follows right after. Let’s get into it:
1. Julia Roberts, nominated for best supporting actress in August: Osage County
Roberts looked like someone’s substitute teacher who went a bit nuts with eyeliner at the Golden Globes, which was a shame because her hair was lovely (from the side). In a more understated fail, she wore a pattern that would be considered ambitious for even the most exciting living room furniture. I think Roberts is remarkably beautiful and funny, but this hasn’t been her year for fashion.
2. Bradley Cooper, nominated for best supporting actor in American Hustle
At best, Cooper looks sharp but uncomfortable, but more frequently the discomfort outweighs the sharpness by far. Why was he so covered in flop sweat at last year’s Governor’s Awards? He’s a good looking guy without much red carpet game.
3. Christian Bale, nominated for best actor in American Hustle
Christian Bale simply carries a certain grossness with him on every red carpet. Here he is wearing basically the same exact thing at two events (this year’s British Academy Film Awards and the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises), and it looks like he completely stopped trying at the Academy Awards nominee luncheon. Would it kill him to buy suits that fit and take a shower?
4. Jennifer Lawrence, nominated for best supporting actress, American Hustle
Okay, so this is going to be controversial, because sometimes Jennifer Lawrence looks absolutely sublime. But a few bad choices were so awful that they landed her on this list. Her Dior Golden Globes dress inspired a meme involving comforters, and I couldn’t stand her crop top mixed with that awkward skirt at Comic Con. But thing got really out of hand with these Dior pants, which really defy all human reasoning.
5. Bruce Dern, nominated for best actor in Nebraska
Bruce Dern wins DGAF points, but he has a habit of full monochrome and ill-fitting suits. In February alone he brought out that black suit/black shirt combo twice, although once accessorizing with a horrifyingly gaudy tie. I don’t mind that color palate on that middle suit particularly, but the whole thing is too shiny and wrinkly to even see straight.
6. Michael Fassbender, nominated for best supporting actor in 12 Years a Slave
You can dress as well as you want, but if you’re on this list, you don’t make the best dressed list. Incidentally, here’s two of Fassbender’s best looks (which are inoffensive at best), flanking exactly what I’d expect from him: douche bag casual.
7. Jonah Hill, nominated for best supporting actor in The Wolf of Wall Street
Jonah Hill wears the same damn thing all the time. In fact, his most exciting look of all time was in 2011 at the MTV VMAs, when he actually showed up with a pattern and some texture differences. He and Fassbender did the twin thing at the Golden Globes and I basically want to take a nap just looking at it.
Photos: Getty Images