Kate Middleton Must Fight Royal Pressure To Get A Short, Matronly Haircut


Kate Middleton is due for a haircut before taking off for Australia next month, but rumor abounds that she is going to surprise us all with something seriously short. While we would be eternally grateful because it would give us plenty to talk about during a slow news day, we definitely think it would be a terrible idea.

Kate Middleton’s hair has been looking really long lately, and if we were her we would be itching for a cut, but not the kind of cut she’s rumored to be being pushed towards. A nice, shoulder-length cut seems likely, but The Daily Beast is reporting that Kate Middleton is actually being pressured to get a bob, “to avoid endless fussing with her hair when the weather is anything less than still.”

Camilla and the Queen reportedly do not like it when the young duchess’ hair and skirts blow around, but we still think giving Kate Middleton Anna Wintour’s hair would be a huge mistake. Kate Middleton already dresses extremely conservatively, and if they take away her long, shiny hair, she could start to look downright matronly. There’s no real reason for her to succumb to “sensible” hair so early. She’s a young woman with the resources to keep her young hair looking shiny and bouncy for some time to come, and she should be able to enjoy that.

Don’t get us wrong, we would throw a damn parade if Kate Middleton got a short, edgy haircut, but there’s no way that’s happening. The Duchess of Cambridge’s personal style belongs to the U.K., and if anything she seems to be under pressure to dress even more conservatively, not less.

According to The Daily Beast, a British bookie is actually offering odds on what kind of hair Kate Middleton will get before her upcoming Australia tour, because of course they are. Anyone feeling like getting in on the action is looking at the following chances:

  • 1-4 odds on a shorter, shoulder-length style
  • 3-1 odds on a classic bob
  • 8-1 odds on a pixie cut
  • 10-1 odds on her dying her hair blonde
  • 20-1 odds on hair extensions (but how would they ever prove it?)
  • 100-1 odds on a perm
  • 1000-1 odds on dreadlocks
  • 1000-1 odds on cornrows
  • 5000-1 odds on shaving everything off

A nice trim or a shoulder-length style definitely seems like the most likely option, but we’d actually be tempted to bet a dollar on her shaving her head. Not only would it be totally awesome to see the Duchess of Cambridge rebel like that, but that would generate quite the payoff.

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    • DuchessDolittle

      Oh come on ! If she cuts her hair Waity will lose that “Cousin It” look that we all know and
      loathe so much ! It would be strange if she did cut The Hair. Because all she really needs to do is wear it up or back more often. Instead it’s almost always all hanging down like a curtain and she can’t keep her hands off it.

      • rose maryawn

        my Aunty Julia got silver Volkswagen Beetle
        Convertible by working parttime off of a home computer… Look At This

    • Michigander

      She should grow her hair longer, because she can, would look wonderful, and to assert being her own person.

    • Toolate

      I thought this was a feminist site. I thought women – yes, even a public figure such as Kate Middleton – were encouraged to do whatever they so please with their physical appearance despite what others’ will think. Kate is an attractive woman and would look good with a mop on her head, anyway. Let the poor girl do what she wants! Dye it platinum blonde and get a mushroom haircut, Kate!