It’s not breaking news that runway fashion is impractical and usually insane. Remember Kay Kwok‘s recent show where the models dressed up like Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches? Remember earlier this week, when Kendall Jenner walked the Givenchy runway looking like a piece of bacon? Remember Katy Perry‘s terrifying McDonald’s dress, compliments of Moschino? Well, lucky for us, Jeremy Scott and Adidas have taken wacky to a new level. Thanks to Scott, we now have… high heeled sneakers. So help us god.
These hideous shoes are all over Paris Fashion Week, where “kids’ soccer team chic” is apparently all the rage. The Daily Mail talked with celebrity stylist Alex Longmore, who’s bumming me out a little bit by taking this trend seriously:
You could say that this bizarre design is just a continuation of the trend for wedged trainers. Isabel Marant was the first to put the heel into the trainer and now Nike and high street brands have followed suit.
Yeah, but even Isabel Marant regrets designing her 800-dollar clown shoes. If the person responsible for the look understands that it’s ugly and tacky in practical use, maybe we should all just move on and forget it ever happened. Can’t we just let sneakers be sneakers and heels be heels?
I realize that runway shows are about fantasy and pushing the limits, and I realize that very few of the items we see paraded around at Fashion Week will ever break into the sphere of what normal, non-Lady Gaga humans wear… but I just need someone to promise me that we won’t all be traipsing around on stiletto trainers in a few years. I don’t know if I can handle it. Anna Dello Russo has already been spotted in a pair of yellow Adidas heels, and while she’s not exactly the poster child for normalcy, I fear that it’s only a matter of time before we all slide down the slippery slope of pointy sneaker hell.
Photos via Getty images