Lupita Nyongâ€™o just won an Oscar for her first-ever film, but no womanâ€™s success narrative is complete until she has been paired off romantically with a handsome and successful man. To assist Nyongâ€™o in her It Girl apotheosis, the media has been helpfully pairing her off with every man she has come within 10 feet of since 12 Years a Slave came out. Right now, that man is Michael Fassbender.
Before Fassbender, Nyongâ€™o was set up in an imaginary pairing with Jared Leto, but that ended when Leto was photographed near Miley Cyrus. Since Miley Cyrus is also single, that meant they were also dating, and suddenly Nyongâ€™o and Cyrus and Leto were trapped in a torrid, completely pretend love triangle. It was so romantic, just like The Hunger Games.
â€śI heard that Miley Cyrus broke us up!â€ť Nyongâ€™o told Ellen DeGeneres.
â€śWhen I read these rumors, theyâ€™re so detailed that even I start to wonder if theyâ€™re true or not!â€ť she said. We can imagine it would get confusing, especially when the sole criteria for being her soulmate would seem to be having appeared behind an Instagram filter with her.
But Leto and his glorious ombrĂ© locks are old news. Now itâ€™s all about Michael Fassbender, with whom she starred in 12 Years a Slave.
In addition to Nyongâ€™o and Fassbender being friends and taking an Instagram photo together, the Sun has the 100% reliable proof of romance in the fact that Fassbender took his mom to the Oscars. No date? Clearly heâ€™s in love with Lupita Nyongâ€™o.
â€śMichael is intent on showing how he wants to get serious again and made a point of bringing his mum Adele to the Oscars rather than a date,â€ť the source said. “Lupita’s the most in-demand woman in the world at the moment so it will be hard to make it work but their chemistry is undeniable.”
Weâ€™re still skeptical, but we can see where pairing up Lupita Nyongâ€™o with imaginary boyfriends would be fun. …
OMG, you guys! Lupita Nyongâ€™o is dating James Franco!*
*We have no reason to think Lupita Nyong’o is dating James Franco. But if she does, you heard it here first.