Lorde And Taylor Swift Are Hanging Out So Much, They’ve Turned Into Lesbians

Lorde and Taylor Swift are apparently lesbians

You’ve seen Bennifer. You’ve seen Brangelina. Now, you have Lorde & Taylor. Except no you don’t, because while their combo name is an obvious win for department stores everywhere, Lorde and Taylor Swift are not dating–unless you ask KISS FM’s Kyle Sandilands, who apparently thinks it’s appropriate to ask a 17-year-old girl if she is dating another woman because his creepy mind wants to believe it’s true.

In an interview with Lorde, Sandilands asked this:

“I see you guys [in] pictures everywhere. Are you guys together now? Not together as in lesbians, I’m not talking about ‘Ellen together,’ I’m talking about, like you guys are friendly right?”

By “Ellen together,” he presumably means Ellen Degeneres and her little-known inability to be “together” with any human in a non-romantic way. Lorde was as peeved at his phrasing as we are, saying:

“What do you mean you’re not talking about ‘Ellen together?’ Is there something wrong with lesbians?”

Ruh roh, time to backtrack, Sandilands!

“Oh my god no, I would love that! Are you going to confirm now you’re in a lesbian relationship with her?”

I’m sorry, you would love that? Now, while all lesbians are obviously just waiting for the chance to impress some 42-year-old Australian, I’m pretty sure asking if there is something negative about being a lesbian does not a lesbian make.

Lorde’s simple and perfect response: “Don’t even try it.”

Of course, Twitter thinks it simply must be true:

 

Awkward indeed, but I think she just knew it was a rude, presumptuous question that would never have been asked if she wasn’t a young, attractive female celebrity. So, no. Not awkward because she’s “refusing to deny” anything.

Now, I can see why people would suspect two women of dating if they were, say, making out in public. Celebrities kissing people–even their spouses of decades–will always be news, and speculating on the potential relationships of those celebrities is apparently something people really want to read about. But isn’t it fascinating how when a pair of dudes hangs out and snaps shots together constantly, we generally assume they are simply BFFs and everybody praises their adorable bromance, but when two females are friends, the rumor mill runs wild with sexy, sexy lesbian sexytime fantasies of sex? Alas, the never-ending obsession of the relationship between two attractive women is unsurprising at best.

However, it also bothers me that he’s being so creepy about the romantic life of a teenager. While the age of consent is 16 in New Zealand, isn’t it still uncomfortable to hear an adult in his forties ask about the sex life of a high schooler?

Photo: Taylor Swift’s Twitter

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    • CMJ

      No joke, I thought this was about the department store at first glance.

    • JLH1986

      Why has no one asked George Clooney and Brad Pitt about their “bromance”? I mean if spending a lot of time with a member of the same sex means relationship, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have A LOT of explaining to do regarding pre Good Will Hunting.

    • Rhonda

      I take offense to the phrase ‘some 42 year old Australian’ What’s wrong with being an Australian or 42 for that matter. Yes, Kyle Sandilands is creepy and he is considered to be somewhat of a parody of himself in Australia … but I feel like you are dissing Australians in general with that particular wording. My bad if I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Haha, no, I would’ve said that about anywhere he was from (Texan, Britain, blahblah); it was more about exactly who he is than those individual aspects of himself being inherently negative or something. But I can see how somebody else might read that! In all actuality, if anything, I find most Australians more likable due to their background because I’m one of those Americans who stereotypes people with non-USA accents as being inherently cooler.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Don’t you just love a horny perv who reduces women friends to a porn standard and jacks off at the sight of two hot chicks going at it, but who wouldn’t even bother to stand up for the rights of actual lesbian women? It makes me want to join the other side so I never have to deal with a man again.