This Stupid New Hair Trend Is Guaranteed To Make You Look Hot, Ugh

2014 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter - Arrivals

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Watch out, Skrillex-style shaved head or weird mullet. There’s a hot new hair trend in town that all the celebrities are trying called the “wob,” and it’s as ugly looking as is it stupidly-named. You should try it this weekend!

The wob is a fun, quick, embarrassing way of saying “wet bob,” or as I like to call it, “currently in the shower hair.” The premise is simple: you have a bob and then you make it look ugly by pouring on product. If it looks good, you’re not doing it right.

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

The Daily News incorrectly cites Beyoncé‘s Grammy performance as an example of the wob (saying wob six times also doubles as having a lobotomy), but if I’m not mistaken, Beyoncé was doing a super stylized Flashdance-type thing, and wasn’t recommending this look for going to the grocery store. It looks like the wob is more of a contrived look for people who felt too pretty, and decided to pile in the product in order to have bizarrely slick hair in public.

Case in point: Malin Akerman‘s whole slicked back situation at the Vanity Fair Oscars party (above), or Kate Mara at the Los Angeles screening of House Of Cards.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Both went to great lengths to achieve the illusion of wetness, and also made sure that as two stunningly beautiful women, they both looked awful. I would imagine that simply being beautiful all the time gets boring, so you may as well throw a shit ton of oil on top of your head and be like “hey, check out my wob.”

The Daily News provides a step by step tutorial for achieving the wob, which I’ll whittle down to the most important steps: after your hair is basically dry, add a shit ton of oil to it and then comb it through. If you look pretty, you’re doing it wrong. Keep trying.

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    • I Like Pizza

      This… looks awful. On a somewhat related note, why are people so obsessed with finding a portmanteau for everything? Like, jean shorts were a thing looooooong before people started calling them “jorts.” Does it really take so much time out of your precious day to speak that extra syllable?! /rant

      • Julia Sonenshein

        I am stringently anti-unnecessary portmanteau.

      • Sarah Anne Lloyd

        I like portmanteaus, but “jorts” was pretty frustrating.

      • waffre

        My least favorite is “jeggings.”

      • goodgirlgonechic

        How about “treggings” (trouser-leggings)?

      • Char

        Because laziness. Heaven forbid a person have to say 2 separate words to get their point across.

    • elle

      Sometimes I think celebs stylist (hair/clothes/make-up) are just fucking with everyone to see what ridiculous trends they can start. This is definitely one of those times.

      • b3v

        YES. Back in the day, I did some hair-modeling, and I remember being at shows, thinking really!? snip some super short strands so you look like a rooster?…and then a few months in, it happened. o_O

    • María José López

      This has been a trend on the runways for a while now.

      • Julia Sonenshein

        Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.

    • Sarah Anne Lloyd

      This reminds me of a really brief thing that happened in the late ’90s only with less glitter.

      • Sarah Anne Lloyd

        It’s also like, kind of the anti-90s crunch-bangs. Both of them are horrible.

    • auntie

      who’d have thunk i’d have to look up words reading Gloss article? portmanteau–nice