Kim Kardashian must have heard Game of Thrones was getting a lot of attention right now and decided to dress accordingly, because she just showed up at the opening of a new DASH boutique in Florida dressed in a midriff-baring suit of chain mail. We didn’t think she could outdo herself with bad fashion so soon after stuffing herself into baby sister Kylie Jenner‘s teeny, tiny bikini, but we need to stop underestimating Kim Kardashian’s talent for finding bad clothes.
Because it’s Kim Kardashian, she’s dressed less like Brienne of Tarth and more like a bikini girl at the Renaissance Faire. Not only did she opt to wear a long-sleeved, turtleneck crop top and pencil skirt, she decided to forgo lining and just accessorize the look with a black bra and high-waist panties.
Her shoes are metallic and so shiny we can see her underwear reflected in them. It would be scandalous, except the underwear is already on full display.
Accessorizing with big panties appears to be a trend right now. We hated it just last month on beautiful Lily Aldridge, and we hate it now on Kim Kardashian. Go away, big panties. We’ll even allow sheer black pantyhose and pointy-toed shoes to stick around, if only the big panties and sweaty hair will go away.
We hate this look almost as much as we hate Katy Perry‘s tacky, awful Moschino McDonald’s uniform. This clunky, ill-fitting ensemble is doubly disappointing because we actually really like chain mail on the red carpet, and we want it to look great. We have read all the currently available Game of Thrones books and have a peculiar affinity for chain mail couture, but this just does not work for is. We think it’s the crop top. Kim has a habit of hacking perfectly nice dresses into two-piece monstrosities, and this is exactly why we don’t like that. If this dress had only been one long expanse of chain mail from neck to hem—and been lined or worn over a slip—we probably would have loved it.
As it is, off with her head.