• Thu, Mar 13 - 10:08 am ET

Fashion Disaster: Kim Kardashian Squashes Self Into Baby Sister’s Teeny, Tiny Bikini, Declares It A Win

It’s a tough life for a bikini. One minute you’re the favorite swimwear of cool little Kylie Jenner and her easy-going ombré hair, and the next thing you know her much bustier sister Kim Kardashian has stolen you and forced you to contain assets you were never built for.

Kim Kardashian posted an extremely boobalicious Instagram selfie last night from Miami, where she decided to go for a swim at the Versace Mansion. For some reason, she decided that should be done in her 16-year-old sister Kylie Jenner’s teeny, tiny black cut-out bikini. That was an epically bad decision, on par with the one to wear a suit of Game of Thrones-inspired chainmail and a pair of giant panties to her store opening later that evening.

Kylie wears a much different size than Kim, and the poor bikini top does not exactly fit over Kim’s impressive, gorgeous, and quite sizable breasts. Kim didn’t seem to mind at all, though, and declared the bikini was so perfect she was keeping it.

“Yep stole Kylie’s bikini … she’s not getting it back,” said Kim over the high-pitched squeak of Spandex under pressure.

Kim is beautiful and her figure is incredible, but that teeny, tiny bikini just wasn’t made to handle all she has to offer. Kim might love the way she looks in it, but we think she looks like she’s about to shred out of it at any moment like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk.

Don’t make Kim angry. You wouldn’t like Kim when she’s angry. Hrrarrgghh! *shred*

The suit doesn’t even look particularly comfortable. The bottoms look like they don’t quite cover her ass, and the straps appear to be cutting painfully into her hips. While the way-too-small bikini look is certainly sexy, Kim Kardadshian would look sexy in any bathing suit. She should have one of her designer friends send her something that actually fits.

Here is the same bikini, back in happier days when it belonged to Kylie:

(Photos: Instagram)

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  • Lindsey Conklin

    I feel like that bikini top is made for small boobs. kim does have a rockin’ bod though

  • ArtyFartFart

    I don’t understand why this is an article. Regardless of what adjectives this article uses, isn’t this precisely the sort of over-analyzation of women’s bodies that people around here tend to be against? Why pick apart an instagrammed photo of a woman in a bikini to begin with? Does it matter if it’s snug or not snug or borrowed or whatever?

    • Crayzcheshire

      Because you’ll read this article. And comment on this article.

    • ArtyFartFart

      Fair, but I really want The Gloss to be above posting click-bait like this.

    • Guest

      YEAH. My thoughts too. Maybe in some sort of bikini emergency situation… but not an average planned pool party situation. Ew

  • Samantha Escobar

    I kind of feel for Kim, as weird as that sounds. Pretty much any bikini top I wear looks like it’s too small and I wind up popping out :( What bothers me most about this shoot is that I think it’s really, really weird to wear other people’s underwear and bikinis, while not considered underwear, are essentially the same thing. Ugh.

    • Crayzcheshire

      YEAH. My thoughts too. Maybe in some sort of bikini emergency situation… but not an average planned pool party situation. Ew

    • Samantha Escobar

      Exactly! If you’re REALLY in a bind (I kind of love the idea of a bikini emergency situation) then yes, borrow a bathing suit. But I feel like the Kardashians have a bathing suit in every purse so I don’t think this was the case…gnarly.

  • Rachel

    Whatever, Kim looks amazing, as usual.

  • cat butt

    I don’t care for her much as a person, but she is eye-meltingly beautiful. Even in wonky outfits.

  • Mahdi Martin

    She’s one of the only people I’ve seen that can rock the “ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag” look. I think she looks better in it than her sister!