• Tue, Mar 18 - 11:00 am ET

A Comprehensive Guide To Adam Levine’s Life As A Serial Modelizer

Adam Levine dates all the models

Happy birthday, Adam Levine! Today, you’re 35, which means you’re approximately 24 in famous dudebro years! And what comes with being an eternally 20-something brosicle? Dating models, of course!

I’ll be honest, I have never been the biggest fan of Adam Levine. Well, at least not since I made my eighth grade boyfriend put the chorus to “She Will Be Loved” at the bottom of his AIM profile (we were so subtle); around that time, I am pretty sure I thought he was really, really hot and talented, just as I thought I would marry all of Taking Back Sunday someday. My first real issue came when Levine openly criticized a 7-year-old, but his serial model-dating competition with Leonardo DiCaprio also served as a clue that, hey, perhaps the guy isn’t the romantic he cracks himself up to be. (As a side note: isn’t it fascinating that everyone criticizes Taylor Swift for having a bunch of boyfriends when she’s likely not dated nearly as many dudes as DiCaprio and Levine have been connected to models? Just a thought.)

There is a very specific type of famous dude who dates model after model after model, and both of these guys are those specific type of dudes. After Tina Fey made one of the most amusing jokes of the Golden Globes at DiCaprio’s expense, we compiled a list of all the models (and actress/models, athlete/models) who have let him into their vaginas. Now, in honor of Levine’s birthday, I give you a similar–albeit shorter, given DiCaprio’s 4-year edge–guide to the dating history of Mr. Maroon 5.

All images via Getty unless otherwise noted.

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  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Had no idea he was with Jessica Simpson!

    • Lindsey Conklin

      same. or cameron diaz “so basically they were engaged” hahahaha

  • Kay_Sue

    “She Will Be Loved”…ah, the memories…Made us think that every high school love was IT for some reason.

    • Samantha Escobar

      RIGHT? I recall bolding several words to represent those meaning ~*so much 2 me*~

  • Mars

    Ooh, I had forgotten about TBS. I think I had a blog in high school where I talked about wanting to do Adam Lazzara…mmmmm.

    • Samantha Escobar

      I <3 this comment.

  • Marcella

    His life is a laughingstock. When will he learn? I’m part of a really fun group. I’ll post the link for those who want to participate.

    http://www.justjared.com/2014/01/04/adam-levine-behati-prinsloo-cabo-vacation-in-the-new-year/comment-page-243/#comments

  • Marcella

    You are missing the Anne V.