Madonna’s New Commercial Is A Sexy Nightmare That Will Make You Question Reality

madonna weird commercial

Joy to the world! A promo for Madonna‘s MDNA Skin line is here, and I’ve watched it no less than six times since coming across it. You will truly wonder if you’re having some sort of drug flashback or out of body experience when watching it, but you should just really lean into it and let it wash over you. Stare at your palm for a few minutes afterward so you can return to your reality-based existence.

Madonna, recently in the news for her cool armpit hair and Mother of Dragons Purim costume, says a bunch of nonsense garbage words throughout, and you’d be hard pressed to find anything remotely comprehensible in it. To start off, let’s take a look at my favorite quotation from the whole thing:

“Creation. Your body smells of honey from the comb. Essence. Your amber silken skin smells of your mind. Alchemy. I’ve spent hours on it. Months on it. Years on it.”

Alchemy! Who knew? Also, how can we be sure that my amber silken skin does, in fact, smell like my mind? Oh whatever, I don’t really know anything about this, and I should probably just trust Madonna. She’s the alchemist here, not me.

 

 

The rest of the promo continues in that vein, involving some very sexy underpants, lots of writhing on the floor, lifting up some lingerie to expose some crotch region, excessive moaning, and a multitude of pointed, sexy gazes. It might be the least sexual display of sexuality that I’ve seen. Madonna spews some sort of free verse poetry for the duration of the entire commercial, and the highlight for me is the whispered echo of “my skin. Touch my skin” over and over. It makes me wonder how Madonna managed to do that voice over without cracking up. Then again, maybe she really felt all those words in a real way, and I’m just the fuck up who doesn’t understand poetry. It’s not impossible.

Photo: Youtube [h/t Fashionista]

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    • Lindsey Conklin

      it hurts my eyes!

    • malaentuvida

      i tapped out after :16. After trying to watch the Sexercize video yesterday there’s only so much I can take.

      • Julia Sonenshein

        i rewarded myself with ice cream afterwards. it was the only way.

    • Sarah

      “It might be the least sexual display of sexuality that I’ve seen.”

      Hahaha. I love your writing!

      • Julia Sonenshein

        thanks sarah!