• Mon, Mar 24 - 2:17 pm ET

15 Reasons You Should Consider Hiring A Male Escort

photo: American Gigolo YouTube.com

photo: American Gigolo YouTube.com

It’s been almost two years since Magic Mike dropped everyone’s suburban panties with Channing Tatum grinding to “Pony,” and easy access man candy is totally having another moment. J.Lo likes them oiled up. Netflix just blessed us all with American Gigolo available streaming, where our hero Julian Kaye reminds us that Richard Gere is an equal opportunity dabbler in prostitution (let’s also take a moment to savor a young Richard Gere in denim hotpants that were only borderline acceptable in 1980). There was also the release of the most homoerotic film I’ve ever seen, 300 2: Rise of an Empire, with more longing male gazes than Brokeback Mountain. And now, the Huffington Post has graced us with a primer on gay and bisexual male escorts, like the charmingly British sounding “rent boys.”

From Belle Knox to Harlotry, we talk a lot about pay-for-play on TheGloss. But when it comes to sex work, the fabulous world of gay escorts is, so far, still unexplored for us. So we started thinking of all the evenings we could have used a little extra male company.

Many clients are seeking “intimacy,” said one escort, “and not necessarily penetration.” -Male escort, Huffington Post

Here’s the thing. There comes a time in every girl’s life when she needs a professional to tend to her needs. Don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what I am talking about. The price is steep ($200-$400/hour), but follow your bliss.

We give you 15 totally acceptable, definitely relatable reasons you should consider hiring a male escort.

1. To finally have a partner for that swing dancing class you keep seeing on Groupon.

2. So you can introduce a man to your grandma after she tries to set you up with her neighbor’s dentist’s son for the fifth time.

3. When you really need to take out the trash, but it’s cold outside.

4. When the cable guy gives you the dreaded 8 am to 4 pm service window and you need a Monopoly buddy.

5. So that just once, you can make your midnight bodega ice cream run without getting catcalled.

6. To dust that corner of the ceiling you can’t reach with your Swiffer.

7. To make your ex jealous at your mutual friend’s birthday happy hour.

8. When you need a ride to the airport, complete with touching goodbye kiss.

9. You finally rented Paranormal Activity and you’re too scared to watch it alone.

10. When you’ve overcommitted to Ikea building and could use a little backup.

11. To sign for that package you’ve been waiting on all week while you’re stuck at the office.

12. To hold your hand during the first 10 minutes of Up, also known as “Sweet lord, this is worse than the Sarah McLachlan abused puppy commercials.”

13. To pick up your embarrassing prescriptions from the drugstore with the cute pharmacist.

14. When you require assistance to avoid losing an eye trimming your cat’s nails.

15. The male prostitute is Richard Gere.

Being a single lady is hard. Sure, most of the time it’s an uninterrupted party of rescuing cats and drinking pink wine and blasting Queen Bey in the shower and eating pretzels and ice cream for dinner. And free drinks. And extra closet space. And no one to judge your Bravo TV marathon. But for those nights when you just need a helping hand, RentBoy.com is there for you.

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