• Tue, Mar 25 - 4:12 pm ET

It’s Officially Time To Stop Making Fun Of Taylor Swift For Having Feelings

56th GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

I know that she’s probably too busy taking Instagram photos of her cat, going on road trips with Victoria’s Secret models, and rolling around on piles of money to care, but it pisses me off when gossip sites abuse their making-fun-of-Taylor-Swift privileges. I’m not saying that she should never be the butt of jokes– she’s given us plenty of things to roll our eyes at– but I’m starting to see a pattern here. It seems like making fun of Taylor Swift is becoming an easy way to make thinly veiled comments against women in general.

Today’s perpetrator is RadarOnline, who claim that Taylor Swift’s people are “setting her up on dates only to have her strange personality scare men away.” They go on to say that she’s “impossible” to find dates for, since her music “focusses heavily on heartbreak and ex-boyfriends.” According to Radar,

None of the guys she shows interest in want to be the subject of a mean song six months down the road or be painted the bad guy, so Taylor’s team want her to take a break from boys.

Oh, okay. First of all, there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest that this is even slightly real. Second of all, shut up.

I’m sick of seeing male confessional songwriters– everyone from Bob Dylan to Eminem– get praised for their openness and honesty while their female counterparts are continually accused of being overly dramatic man-haters. Most of Taylor’s songs that deal with breakups are either silly and light-hearted (nobody’s crying themselves to sleep over “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”), or they’re accounts of problematic or even abusive relationships.

If you take the time to listen to the lyrics in “Dear John,” which is basically a captivity narrative about an emotionally abusive relationship between an adult man and a teenage girl, her decision to call out John Mayer by name is actually incredibly brave. It’s about taking back her dignity, chipping away at the power he has over her, and publicly shaming a grown man who manipulated and took advantage of her when she was nineteen. To act like that song is petty, mean, or melodramatic? That’s just blatant victim blaming.

She doesn’t have to be your taste, and I can totally understand why someone wouldn’t be into her, but choosing to write off a young woman completely because she “has too many feelings” is just typical, old school misogyny. Don’t like her music? Cool. Don’t like her style? Cool. Don’t like the way she words things in interviews? Totally reasonable. But if you’re willing to paint this woman as the CRAZY BITCH EX-GIRLFRIEND because she uses her platform to call out men’s bullshit behavior, you’re contributing to a culture that assumes all women’s feelings are irrational and worthless. It’s mean, it’s boring, and we can do better.

If you want to make fun of Taylor Swift, make fun of Taylor Swift. Don’t resort to mocking femininity in general and trying to pass it off as pop culture news. By turning Taylor into a Crazy Bitch, you might be sending the message to other women writers that it’s not worth it for them to express their feelings at all.

Via Gossip Cop / Photo: Getty images

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  • Kaitlin Reilly

    Completely true. Isn’t it weird how no one says anything when Eminem talks about his abusive relationship with his ex-wife?

  • Dyl

    PREACH HAYLEY!

  • Andrina

    Its like Radar is determined to deliberately destroy whatever positivevimage Taylor Swift has left. They seem to be the originator of 99% of these ridiculous and unbelievable stories about her. It makes you wonder who is writing those supposed articles with “sources”.
    Is it an ex of Taylors feeding this stuff? Or maybe Bieber still hasn’t gotten over her grossed-out face at last years vma awards when Selena ran back to the Biebs. What I don’t understand is all the supposedly legitimate online news sites quoting these obviously made-up stories as true. Then most of them dont even report the actual true stories about the good that she does.
    I do congratulate you for saying all you said and pointing out the hypocrisy and obvious doubt of the Radar story.

    Another thing i notice…even positive and supportive articles like this one seem to feel they have to justify standing up for Taylor. I wonder why that is. Seems to me no one should have to be defensive or justify speaking out against hate or misogyny.

  • Holly Hill

    This was awesome. Posted it on Facebook and like seven man friends of mine threw a fit attacking Taylor’s personality and things she’s said in the past. HELLO. Did you crazy dudes even read the article. You’re doing exactly what the author is saying!!!! We are talking in an even larger context here about how adjectives used to describe women are often negative like bitchy or whiny but when a guy does the same thing it’s brave or hard working. Not right at all. Great article.

  • logical

    Except that Adele does the same thing that Taylor Swift does and she is praised in every corner of the world. People love her. I would say that this is less about Swift having ~feelings~ as a woman and more that those feelings tend to resemble a teenager’s. Swift and Adele are the same age and write about the same thing, yet Adele’s lyrics come off as so much more mature and thoughtful. Which is why I’ve never seen Adele described as the “crazy stalker ex”, even with a song like Someone Like You.

    That is that HUGE difference IMO.

    • penny_r

      Not sure how you’ve managed to escape it, but I see Adele constantly made fun of for exactly this. Google ‘image if Taylor Swift and Adele broke up’ to discover not just the end to that hilarious, Wildean zinger but also the thousands of sites which have posted and reposted it, including 9Gag, Pinterest (??), and at least one iteration of a wildly popular Tumblr text post. And it’s not just online – I’ve heard the Tayor Swift/Adele parallels in so many misogynistic jokes in real life (mostly from dudes 15-30) that it’s really just starting to get boring.

    • Jordan

      There’s also the sheer fact that Adele doesn’t write her own lyrics. She co-writes most songs, and never writes the music. Taylor is a 23 year old who is writing all her own lyrics and music, which is much more impressive, imo.

  • zininator

    I totally think all of the media against her is some salem witch trial realness. This woman defied and entire industry, crossed genres, and empowers girls. let’s make her look crazy and needy and undesirable. Lets take all of her land and burn her at the stake.

  • Elizabeth

    Actually, she doesn’t need people to make her look bad. She is a pro at this. She loves playing the victim in order to hear people say and to write about “poor little Taylor”!!! The 14 yr old mentality is old, boring and Pathetic. What about the the men that she victimises via her public slandering and bitchy self righteous lyrics??? She has figured out that being a bitch is a great money maker for her. She hasn’t the ability to write lyrics about anything of substance. If she is having time out from stalking men and w******g around her career will be dead soon, as she will have nothing to write about. She is a voyeur and a narcissist with a nasty, vindictive nature.Karma always comes back. There is also plenty of footage of her ridiculous attempts at dancing and performing. Watch interviews of he, they are flat, boring and she cant even answer the questions AT ALL as her mentality does not allow for this. Just check out the WTF expression that she has constantly on her face when she is spoken to.

  • Nicole James

    Eminem has been attacked for his violent lyrics, the rants against his ex are secondary. The problem with Taylor is she dates anyone she makes eye contact with then she. It doesn’t work out she bad mouths them and plays the victim. If you’ve had 6 boyfriends in 6 years the problem is you not them. I respect Adele for her lyrics, Beyonce, Katy etc. because they don’t go out of their way to embarrass the men they sing about.