• Wed, Apr 9 - 10:27 am ET

Jill Duggar Celebrates Her Engagement With Some Steamy Hand Holding

jill duggar engaged

Oh me, oh my, we have a Duggar engagement to celebrate! Somebody get out the virgin margaritas and white balloons (not the phallic ones, the round ones. No crap, those look like boobs. Scrap the balloons!) and put on some Christian rock–it’s time to get wild! And by that I mean you can all sway gently with only as much mobility as your floor length denim skirt will allow.

It would appear that 22-year-old J-name daughter Jill Duggar has accepted the proposal of one Derick Dillard, a 25-year-old accountant. The two were strolling around Arkansas with their chaperones (lol), when a stranger asked the couple if he could sing them a love song. Instead of calling 911 or running for her life like any normal human, she was like “yeah, I would love that. Fantastic.” Apparently, she got to the second verse (who stands there for that long?) and at that point realized the song was about her and her man.

Dillard did the ring/proposal thing, and then those two couldn’t keep their hands off of each other each other’s hands. They held hands for the first time after becoming engaged, which is their choice (it’s definitely not), so good for them. As Jill put it,

“We decided to wait to hold hands until we were engaged and to have our first kiss on our wedding day. We want to save the physical side of our relationship for our wedding day and not go further than we should. If you are kissing, it gets more intimate. Obviously, you can kiss and not have sex. It’s about setting a higher standard so you don’t struggle [with temptation].”

I love nothing more than when conservative Christians invoke the higher standard thing, as if the rest of us heathens just walk around shitting our pants and masturbating in public, cursing our pagan gods.

Hooray for the happy couple! Enjoy that handholding– it’s way less messy than what you’re in for.

Photo: People

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  • Lindsey Conklin

    wonder what her wedding dress will be like…

    • Mandie

      I can’t imagine it as anything other than poofy sleeved 80s pomp and circumstance.

    • Chelsea

      I read that as “prom and circumstance,” which is even better.

  • FemelleChevalier

    “…as if the rest of us heathens just walk around shitting our pants and masturbating in public, cursing our pagan gods.”

    Wait, we’re NOT suppose to masturbate in public?? Oh… Then I guess I need to apologize to some people…

  • Charmless

    There’s a pillow in between them. That can’t be an accident.

    • stephanie767

      my Aunty Grace got a nearly new blue Kia by
      working part time from the internet. look at this now C­a­s­h­D­u­t­i­e­s­.­ℂ­o­m

  • itpainsme2say

    All I could think was, Yes she beat the other one.

  • Christella

    She’s gonna be so mad when she finds out he’s gay. :(

    • J_Doe5686

      Yeah, but they’re going to pray it away and pop a kid every year for good measure!

  • J_Doe5686

    It’s so cute! I’m happy for them. I wouldn’t be able to do it but good for them!

  • kj

    I was just hate watching this last night and reflecting on the fact that my Mom – who’s pretty catholic about the whole sex thing (despite having a baby out of wedlock) – HATES this show and thinks they’re super creepy. I think that says a lot.

  • Valerie

    Julia, this headline made me laugh for like, 5 minutes straight.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      you made my day!

  • The random dude

    O that turned me on oh yaaaa steammmmy hand holdin swayin gently and stuff oooooo yyyyaaa

  • The random dude

    Does anyone else jerk off to the fake Barbie dolls!!??? Pphphphttt

  • casemo

    wow….you people are very immature and rude…..

  • Bethany

    The person who wrote this is obviously really bitter about their own life. If they want to stay pure until marriage that is up to them. It’s silly how angry it makes you!

  • Alexis H

    I agree that this is old fashioned and strange, but it’s how they were raised and they aren’t hurting anyone. I don’t want to be judged for my personal choices, so I don’t think it’s fair to judge them for being different.

    • Rhonda

      Totally agree with you! I don’t understand what is going on here. Is everyone picking on her because she is a virgin or a Christian … ?? What right does anyone have to judge them? If their choices aren’t affecting your life then stfu.

  • Val Mierh

    Handholding is sweet, if you ask me. That’s about it.

    __________________________

    Hamilton Wedding
    Photography

  • CasperT

    This writer disgust me! It is a spiritual thing between them and God in heaven at which I am gathering you would not understand. Please find a Bible based church so you too can live a hate free life.

  • mcoquito00

    Yes, they are very old fashioned, quite honestly I think this world can use more of that! Anyhow, I don’t think that all the bashing was necessary in this article. It’s not like they personally did anything or said anything about you. You sound like you’re a hater.. try spreading some love instead!