• Fri, Apr 18 - 11:10 am ET

These ‘Consent Condoms’ Are A Fun Reminder That Only Yes Means Yes

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Still bummed about that time it looked like Victoria’s Secret was starting a sexual assault prevention campaign by selling underwear emblazoned with glittery consent slogans… and it turned out to be fake? Me too. Luckily, the activist group behind the faux lingerie site has now created a real, tangible product that tries to send the same message. Why say it with just words when you can say it with words and condoms?

Created by FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, these new “consent condoms” are just normal, functioning rubbers whose packages feature cute designs and slogans along the lines of “Consent is asking every time” and “Drinking is not a crime, rape is.” Codirector of FORCE, Rebecca Nagle, has this to say on their website:

Consent needs to be a mainstream idea and practice. We need to see pop culture examples of healthy sexuality and respecting boundaries as much as ‘blurred lines’.  Communicating boundaries, needs, and desires is hot! We need a sexual revolution that makes practicing consent at the front of having good sex.

Amen to that. While it’s always weirded me out when people refer to consent as “hot” or “sexy” (it’s a bit too much like “not murdering people is a fun weekned activity!”), maybe these kinds of snappy slogans will be a reluctant future feminist’s introduction to the conversation. And I’m cool with that.

Of course, I can’t really picture a scenario in which someone who wasn’t planning on checking in with their partner every step of the way sees a condom wrapper and has a SUDDEN REALIZATION about the importance of consent, but I don’t think that’s really the goal here. Even if these condoms don’t serve to educate anyone new about how to fully respect their partners, it’s cool that FORCE is trying to move consent conversations out of Gender Studies classrooms and feminist Tumblr communities and into the real dating world. Maybe a condom will never “remind” someone not to take advantage of another person, but maybe it’ll be a conversation starter at a party, or maybe its presence in a purse will remind an abuse survivor that they have the right to say yes or no. These little novelty products probably won’t put a stop to sexual assault as we know it, but that doesn’t mean they’re worthless.

Via Think Progress / Photo: Say It With A Condom

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  • Samantha Escobar

    I think that even though condom wrappers may not stop the horrible actions some people commit in their tracks, what matters is that consent is being consistently discussed and normalized as a topic of discussion. Rad!

  • Lindsey Conklin

    your title says it all!

  • CMJ

    This is one of those issues that needs to be everywhere. I am perfectly okay with inundating every person with this message.

  • Tom Maker

    What the heck? A condom is used for sex. If a woman has a condom and puts it on her man it means she wants sex. Why would a woman have a condom is she does not want sex. The real issue is a woman wants sex after a glass of wine, then decides she did not really want to have sex. That is the issue that needs to be addressed…How do we stop women from feeling guilty after sex and then yelling rape!?

    • CMJ
    • A concerned man

      I think you are spewing your shit all over the wrong blog, there are some horrible places on the internet that will agree with you- but not here.
      As a man I have to disagree with you. No woman or man should feel guilty after sex- whether or not wine is involved. I think you need to understand that some people do sexually take advantage of intoxicated people. This is real and teaching ourselves and our children is the only way it will stop.

    • RayneofCastamere

      *sigh* You do realize how small the number of false rape reports are, right? For all you know, the woman was drunk to the point where she couldn’t give consent and had no idea what had happened until later.

      You want women to stop feeling guilty after sex? Then try to dissolve the slut-shaming culture we live in that denies that women even want sex. Try to dissolve the culture that believes that if a woman has had sex with a man she’s not married to, then that means she’s “available’ for every other man. Try to dissolve the culture that blames women for being raped for any little thing that they do, be it drink, wear certain clothing, or just happen to possess a vagina. Try to STOP VICTIM BLAMING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD.

    • Chuck

      You water that down… I personally wouldn’t want to be on the other side of that “small false reporting”. The issue is…nothing is done in those cases. How do you tell a man that spent 5, 10, or 20 years in prison my bad. Let alone the stigma prison have for rapist. Maybe you should try it!

    • Samantha Escobar
    • Chuck

      Very professional! He didn’t use profanity or personal attacks…way to go! I bet you stuck your index fingers in your ears and stuck out your tongue too!

    • Chuck

      That’s some scary crap, and unfortunately I have seen this. Drinking followed by regret will send a man to prison. Now, there are some asshole who will take advantage of that situation as well. My question if both party are drinking and the woman started performing oral sex on the guy. He feels violated and proceed to police station. What do you think will happen?

  • Rachel Sea

    Consent is super sexy. What’s hotter than an enthusiastic YES?

  • Byron

    Consent IS hot. The issue is women hotly consenting are rare and in much fewer numbers than men who enthusiastically consent, despite sex arguably feeling better for women and women being equally as horny as men. If women were as honest about their desires as men are and didn’t try to play this game of making men “work for it” then there’d be no issue. It’s the not knowing if what is said is honest or just to titilate and test your desire that makes men overstep their boundaries. What we need is sexual slut-based revolution among women.

  • Chuck

    Consent isn’t clear cut as this article makes it…too many variables. I tell men, if she had one sip of alcohol…walk away. Society will take the woman side every time. Regardless of the situation.

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