Open Thread: Which Fetish Do You Consider A Deal Breaker? Because I Just Found Mine.

<b>Open Thread:</b> What Fetish Do You Consider A Deal Breaker? Because I Just Found Mine.

Spanking The Money (1994)

Once upon a time, I hooked up with a guy who lived nearby. He seemed to be a solid potential “activity partner”: well-dressed, articulate, funny, decently attractive. The problem was that after about 10 minutes of making out, he started to lift my shirt and stare at my breasts. And then he called me “mommy.” For a moment, I assumed he intended this as being pronounced and spelled “mami.” This was an incorrect assumption. He asked me to treat him like a “bad boy who hadn’t done his homework,” which leads me to believe he was the most peculiar honors student in the world as a child.

Oh, but it gets weirder.

After a minute or so of me being in shock, he switched gears completely and began calling me “little girl.” After another 20 seconds of genuine shock and confusion pulsating through my brain, I kicked the parent/child fetishizer out of my apartment, went back to my room, stripped my bed, and proceeded to load all my sheets into the washing machine. Needless to say, those are two of the fetishes that go right over ‘the line” for me.

While there are innumerable fetishes across the board, and I’m pretty open to many of them, there are some that I personally find just a little too disgusting, immoral, painful or unpleasant to me. I’m sure somebody will be into parent/child or other adult/child role play, but I am not one of those people (just as one of the most accepting people we know, our Harlotry writer, was not). There are certainly things I am interested in that others aren’t, too, but illegal stuff and bathroom fetishes are total deal breakers for me.

So, we’re curious to know: What fetish is a deal breaker for you? Perhaps there’s just one, perhaps it’s tons of ‘em; regardless, share your stories and commiserate!

[EDIT: We compiled a big ol' list of all the fetishes you guys aren't down with!]

Share This Post:
    • Alexis Rhiannon

      People asking to be called anything in bed is pretty off-putting to me. I hooked up with a guy in college who told me to call him Papa _____ (insert his last name there, do not insert anything else, do not collect $200).

      EXCEPT I DID IT AND I HATED IT DON’T TELL ANYONE EXCEPT THE INTERNET. It only happened that once, and I’ve been grossed out every time I’ve thought about it since. Actively cringing even writing this.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Please tell me his last name was Smurf.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Don’t tell anyone!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Joanna Rafael

      NO cannibalism. NO bathroom stuff. Please don’t make me act like a baby.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        SOME bathroom cannibalism.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Just a few stuffed bathrooms.

    • Kat

      I dated a guy who loved hand jobs. We were both adults capable of doing ANYTHING ELSE, so I found this weird. Also very unfun.

      • Samantha Escobar

        I can’t help but post this:

      • Caitlin

        I don’t understand how you find ways to make me adore you more than I already do. Seriously stop it. I’m starting to feel creepy or that I have reverted to my pre-teen self who would ask people I had never met to be my significant other.

      • Samantha Escobar

        This comment makes me so happy :D

      • Aoki

        Darn, I was suppose to write a poem on how awesome you are but I can’t seem find something that rhymes with “orange.”


      • Anne

        Only a deal breaker if he asked you to wear a hand-shaped suit

    • desire4bones

      No animals and no feces play.

    • itpainsme2say

      no feet, no bathroom, no choking, no name other than my own, no cutting of the flesh or wips or pinching.

    • Cathryn Berarobitch

      Oh boy.

      -scat play
      -wanting to receive golden showers
      -adult infantilism
      -strap-on play (I love butt stuff! I even love giving butt stuff! But strap on play with dudes does exactly zero things for me)
      -asking to be called “daddy,” “papa,” or any other male family member title
      -wanting to call me “momma,” “mommie,” or even “mami”
      -wanting to receive spankings
      -enjoyment of the 69 position (not technically a fetish, I know, but I feel like it counts, as it is THE MOST STUPID AND POINTLESS POSITION EVER and fetishes tend to involve things that are seen by non-fetishists as stupid and pointless)
      -really most forms of male submission

      • Naomi

        Your list is also my list.

      • Cathryn Berarobitch

        So glad I am not alone! The funny thing is, I’m willing to bottom for most stuff other than baby stuff (other age play is fine with me if it’s discussed first, but I’m an amazon with grown-up hips, so it’s pretty impossible for it to go to a creepy place) and feces stuff, but dudes who want to be submissive just make me feel like I’m at work. Go see a pro, buddy.

      • Emma

        Glad to see I’m not alone on the 69 thing!

      • Cathryn Berarobitch
    • Kelly

      I didn’t think my sex life was especially kinky until reading this thread….

    • KaluzaKlein

      Parent/child role play freaks me out. The guy in this article is a piece of shit. He knew there was a very very good chance you’d be freaked out, and a minor but significant chance you’d be triggered, and he went at it with no explanations. Ew.

      Besides parent and adult/little play: no poop, no infantilism, no diapers, and I’m not into being submissive.

      Beyond that, there are a whole bunch that really don’t do it for me, but that I probably wouldn’t mind indulging occasionally for someone I cared about. OCCASIONALLY, and not with someone who bugged me about it too often.

      My weird hate is crossdressers. I’m the only pro-domme I know who actively dislikes them. In session they’re fine but often a little boring, in my dating life they’re a huge turn-off. I loooove femmy guys who dress really flamboyantly and have longish hair but I draw the line at panties. Idk why. Not sure if that’s one I could even indulge occasionally, beyond giving permission to borrow my stuff.

      • Cathryn Berarobitch

        Hi! Prostidomme here, and super not into crossdressers!

        As you say, they’re fine in session, if a bit boring, but out of session? Ehhhhhh, not so much.

        Then again, I’m actually pretty submissive in my personal life and I prefer ultra-masculine men, so I’m not exactly the target audience there.

    • footnotegirl

      Well, any fetish is a deal breaker for me, because by definition fetish means that it’s something outside a person that someone needs for sexual arousal and fulfillment.
      Now kinks. Kinks are different. I only have a few absolute deal breakers, but almost anything extreme would have to be approached with care and at the right time. The absolute deal breakers are bodily fluid play (being spit on, golden showers, scat, vomit), humiliation, exhibitionism, animals, diapers, feederism.

    • MissFelicia

      I’m not a pro Domme, but I am a dominant woman with a fetlife profile, and I’ve encountered some interesting, if also off-putting, kinks.
      The messages from men whose photos portray them smeared with mud and feces…
      The babies and adult-men-as-baby-girls are a too much for me…
      I talked to a man with a balloon popping fetish. They had to be oversized, I mean massive, balloons, and he wanted women to sit on them and pop them. He also had the craziest demanding list of traits a woman had to have or couldn’t have. He also tracked me down on OkCupid (completely different usernames), and at that point I blocked him.
      The blueberry fetishist takes the cake though (google it!!!). I found it so bizarre, I actually roleplayed it with him via text. It started off like we were at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. I was Violet, and I ate the three course dinner gum. I went through the whole describing of every course, right to the blueberry end. He got crazy excited as I texted him about my skin turning blue and swelling. The belt bursting part was key to his fantasy. When I reached full size, I needed to be rolled away to be juiced, which consisted of him pretending to fuck me to orgasm. It was a very strange experience for me, but a dream come try for him. As it turns out, you can buy blue blow up suits! There’s tons of fan art of this. I never would have thought this was a fetish if I hadn’t encountered it myself.

      • MammaSweetpea

        I can never read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again.

      • Saturnina

        I once watched a horror movie about a serial killer who had that balloon-popping fetish. Can’t believe it’s actually a real thing…

    • YarghMatey

      I tried with a foot fetishist, I really did. Except it did nothing for me, I’m really fucking ticklish, and it was completely ridiculous in my mind. I acted well and made my graceful, if sticky, exit. Never to be repeated again.

      My other hard stops are anything potty related or infantilizing. And anything involving a fursuit.

      I just can’t even.

      A lot of other supposedly “weird shit’, so long as it falls under the realm of consent,* I am probably able to work with to some extent. I’m sure there are exceptions that I’m not thinking of, it’s just that these are my immediate, cross legs and arms, nope, no way, no how, nope,

      *Which, for the record, cannot be had with animals, children, or the deceased, so those are an automatic go-directly-to-jail-do-not-pass-go.

    • Daniella Sloane Alberts

      did you know that dildos that can be attached to a stiletto heel for insertion into anal cavities are a thing?
      they are.

      still….not a total deal breaker. i like wearing shoes; you like having shoes up your butt.
      win win.

      • Anne

        The ultimate ass-kicking shoes.

      • BDC0213

        That is too hilarious

    • J_Doe5686

      I haven’t played around a lot to have a fetish but I can tell you that I don’t like being called “mami.” I’m hispanic so guys assume I like being called “mami” and they want me to call them “papi” which is a big turn off for me. The only people I call mami & papi are my mom and dad.