The 10 Annoyingly Effective Tricks That Online Stores Use To Get You To Spend Even More Money

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So, you love online shopping. But did you also know that the purveyors of online retail establishments are a bunch of manipulative pigs out to get you? You did know that? Okay, cool, me too. It works every time.

1. Frequently bought together

Yeah, I wanted that lipstick, but I had forgotten that lipliner existed. Take more of my money. Thanks, world!

2. “Online Exclusives”

Look, I’m a human person who doesn’t enjoy leaving my house. Something geared entirely towards cave people like myself? Yeah, okay.

3. Happy Birthday! Have A Free Gift On Us!*

*Ifyouspend$100first.

4. Spend $50 and get free shipping!

Without fail, nothing in the store costs less than $40. There is no way to hit $50. I spend $80 every time. I am the idiot.

5. If you spend $10.99 more, you’ll get free shipping

Look, I may as well get as much as I can on this order. Otherwise, I’d have to pay for shipping twice. In this scenario, I get a bunch of shit I may not need but will get free shipping. You tell me what’s smarter than that.

6. Only two left in stock!

Okay, I just went from wanting that sack of a dress to NEEDING that sack of a dress.

7. Gushing reviews

Yeah, I get that those are probably bullshit. But this girl with my same exact body type said that the shirt buttoned over her breasts…so…

8. FINAL SALE LAST CHANCE AFTER THIS WE ARE CLOSING DOWN THE INTERNET

Well, they are closing the place down.

9. WE JUST EXTENDED OUR SALE

I’m always just like “thank you online shopping god” because I figure if I missed the original FINAL SALE email, I was lucky enough to get this second chance. I don’t want to live with regrets. I don’t want to watch opportunities pass me by.

10. Buy one, get one free/reduced/the same exact price

Look, I don’t get it either. But if you tell me that buying one item of clothing gets me another piece of clothing, I’m sold.

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    • Kaitlin Reilly

      Ahh the worst thing is the $50 shipping-free thing. Whenever I have $49.99 in the cart I have to debate about whether I want to buy something else and pay X amount more or pay a ridiculous fee and get nothing in return.

    • Lindsey Conklin

      OH #3 and #4 are the freaking WORST.

    • Charmless

      Okay, so I wanted to order a $39.99 cardigan from Urban Outfitters last week. The free shipping threshold for Canada is $60, so I needed to spend another $20.01 to qualify. OF COURSE, if you buy something that’s $19.99, you still have to buy one more item. So I threw a couple pairs of socks and a pair of tights in my basket because you can never have too many socks and tights. Intended item plus $25 worth of extra shit ordered.

      The next day, I received a shipment notification for the socks. A few hours later, I got an email saying that they were having a free shipping with no minimum promotion. Well, fuck… but fine. Whatever.

      On Saturday, I received an email apologizing because the cardigan I ordered was now out of stock. So now I’m ONLY going to get the stupid impulse socks and tights that I never really wanted in the first place, but only ordered because I needed to meet that stupid minimum that wasn’t even a thing 24 hours later.

      YOU WIN THIS TIME, URBAN OUTFITTERS.

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    • loser_sneeze

      Numbers 4 and 10 get me every.single.time. “Oh, I can get free shipping on those 4 blouses I bought that cost the same as 2 blouses that I didn’t need in the first place? BARGAIN!” I’m so weak.