Thank you, entertainment news sites, for never failing to amuse us with your photographic “evidence” of famous people’s invisible weightÂ fluctuations.Â If Us Weekly weren’t around to tell me exactly how fat Miranda Lambert is on any given day, I don’t know what I’d do with my life. Without Radar Online’s investigative journalism, we’d never know about Taylor Swift‘s nonexistent eating disorder, and we’d just have to keep getting our kicks from speculating wildly about her personal life. Today, Us Weekly rescued us from having to think about our own mundane bodies by posting “before and after” photos of Debra Messing, whose weight… looks exactly the same.
I’ve spent ten minutes zooming in and out of their photos– posted directly under the headline “Debra Messing Drops 20 Pounds Without Dieting: Before and After Pictures!“– and I’ve yet to find the tiniest difference between the two of them. Her eyes look a little brighter in the After photo? Maybe? Her hands seem more relaxed? Is this supposed to be like one of those optical illusions that kids stared at on the playground in elementary school? If I focus on the pictures for long enough, will one of the Debras start shrinking?
To Us Weekly‘s credit, I understand how frustrating it can be to produce content on a slow news day, and Messing did open up about her body to ABC News this morning, telling them thatÂ she’s lost “like 20 pounds” over the last several years by shifting her eating habits. Messing explains that the stress of motherhood caused her to feel unhealthy, and that she now eats “really clean, healthy foods” and focusses on nutrients. It’s not absurd that tabloids would then go searching for photos that show off the changes in Messing’s body over the years– it’s just absurd that when they didn’t find any, they pretended they did anyway. These “before and after” photos literally only show us that she looks different when she’s wearing different clothes. Right? Am I the only one who can’t make out the tiniest change?
I really appreciate the tabloid’s commitment to creating celebrity news out of thin air, though. Long days at work would be a lot longer if I didn’t have teeny-tiny-minusculeÂ differences to search for in photos of former TV stars. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed, Us Weekly.
Via Us Weekly / Photo: Getty Images