Lily Allen is dressed like a five-year-old in her most ridiculous outfit to date, but we can’t even hate on it, because we’ve been swept up in a wave of nostalgia that makes us remember how much we would have wanted to wear exactly this outfit when we were five-year-olds. We’re assuming Lily Allen’s new stylist is actually a five-year-old, because there’s no other way to account for this truly bizarre outfit.
I mean, she looks ridiculous, of course, but ridiculous in a kind of fun way. Her fluttery pink crop top makes her look like she’s wearing a Tinkerbell costume around her boobs. Or like an ornery toddler ballerina who doesn’t want to wear her tutu around her waist like the other kids. Her unicorn is waiting for her in the back of the club to spirit her away to Candy Land. (Candy Land is another club, where everyone dresses like Princess Bubblegum and Stefon.)
She even has a blue topknot and a rainbow acrylic manicure pointy enough to make Pinterest weep with envy.
And then there are the shoes. The magical, beautiful shoes.
They look like elephant feet and seem impossible to walk in, but they have magic light-up soles that would have been everything to me as a small child, when the most popular girl in school had a pink hair bow with lights that flashed when she pushed a button. She was only allowed to push the button during recess, but the administrative censure made it all the more attractive. These are like that hair bow, crossed with the squeaky shoes my mother wouldn’t buy for me at Disney World. I must have them!
And they might look like elephant feet, but they sure do make her feet look tiny.