Cate is something of a renaissance sex worker and has held numerous interesting jobs in the adult industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.
In the six years I’ve been a sex worker I have, to my knowledge, deflowered exactly one man.
It is not as though my career is unfamiliar to firsts: when I was a stripper I gave several guys their first lap dances, most notably a very small metalhead celebrating his twenty first birthday. I sold him on an hour in the champagne room, and within fifteen minutes he had thrown up all his birthday drinks on my shoes and was kicked out. An untold number of clients have come to me to have their first strap-on experience, and even more have come to me to try various other fetishes for the first time. But up until very recently, no one had ever come to me to lose their virginity in a more traditional sense.
I never really did the whole awkward high school fumbling thing. There was no “just the tip!” begging, no messing around with weird Cosmo-influenced blowjob techniques. I learned how to give a blowjob by watching gay porn with my friend while we practiced on popsicles. And the one time a guy mistook my youth for inexperience or unwillingness and asked if he could put in “just the tip,” I laughed in his face and asked if that was really all he was offering me.
In fact, I’ve never had recreational sex with anyone under the age of twenty. When I was a teenager I couldn’t understand what I was supposed to see in boys my age. I instinctively knew that while girls my age were fine and dandy, teenage boys didn’t know what they were doing and teaching them would be far more trouble than it was worth. The closest thing to a high school sweetheart I ever had was the twenty-year-old I selected to rid me of the annoying burden of virginity and proceeded to have casual sex with for almost a year afterwards.
I guess a lot of people assume that once men get to a certain age, they seek out the company of prostitutes like myself in order to get rid of their virginity. However, in my experience this hasn’t really been the case, and none of my close sex worker friends have tons of stories about virgins, either. I know it happens–I’ve spoken to women on the internet who have taken virginities. Still, I was thrown for a loop when I recently had a client whose first experience with sex wound up being with me.