Let’s All Admit That This ‘New Long Bob Trend’ Is Code For ‘I’m Bored With My Pixie Cut’

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

“I love short hair. It’s so easy and I don’t have to blow dry it,” they shouted with joy as they threw their curling irons and hair brushes out the window. A few months on and they’re either sick of being mistaken for a boy, or they realized what everyone else who’s ever made the same impulsive “pixie cut decision” knows – there’s nothing to do with short hair. Stick a headband or sparkly barrette and it’s still the same hairstyle. It’s like putting a sweater over an ugly top–it still the same butt-ugly top.

That’s why the long bob is becoming as popular as ripped jeans – though both are just masking as a trend to cover a mistake. Let’s admit it that the long bob is a chic way of saying that you’re growing out your hair until it is long enough to put in a ponytail that doesn’t look like a mutilated stub. Hasn’t Miley Cyrus been bitching forever that’s she’s bored of her short hair, despite being one of the early adapters? Perhaps she’s using her hospital stay as an excuse to let her hair grow out. Then she can return to the stage with a perfect bob and still-nasally voice.

The long bob used to be the in-between hairstyle for celebrities who couldn’t get an appointment to get a new set of extensions and were forced to pretend it was an intentional hairstyle (see Jennifer Aniston). But now it’s a fun and exciting new trend! So come with me as we see which celebs are jumping on the bandwagon.

PCN

Photo: PCN

Jennifer Lawrence recently showed off a long choppy bob, no doubts after weeks of popping hair growth vitamins — so she could look like a 23-year-old and not the leader of the PTA meeting.

Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty Images

Even weave queen Kim Kardashian briefly debuted a longish bob. Her extensions probably hadn’t cleared customs in Paris yet.

Photo: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Photo: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Karlie Kloss’s hair has been described as a ‘long bob’ or the reason for her Victoria Secret contract getting terminated. Which is surprising since we all know Victoria Secret is so progressive and open to different ideas of what sexy means. Regardless, I think it’s cute and she can always model for Ann Taylor.

Photo: Mark Davis/Getty Images

Photo: Mark Davis/Getty Images

Zosia Mamet cut her hair probably because she was sick of wearing an inflatable doughnut on her head on the Girls set for 14 hours of a day.

Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Finally, at the advice of her bestie Karlie Koss, Taylor Swift finally cut her flower girl poodle curls into a shorter retro cut that is perfectly paired with red lips and tiny handbags.

If you learn one lesson from all of this, it’s that if you’ve got short hair, you better start growing it ASAP because the pixie is as dunzo as Adam Levine’s self-respect. HURRY!

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    • Jamie Z.

      None of the ladies listed at the source you linked to had pixie cuts to begin with, they all cut their hair shorter. Your reasoning may be right for some, but not for most.

    • Elizabeth

      There are reasons to grow out a pixie cut other than “because it’s ugly” (I grew mine out for work-related reasons, and also because I hated not being able to put it in a ponytail) and a bob is kinda a necessary intermediate step, isn’t it? I mean, unless you want to go the mullet route.

    • ohhoney_no

      This article is awful and insulting, and I’m amazed that The Gloss published it. 23-year-old and not a PTA mom? Short hair not being feminine? GROUNDBREAKING, TRULY.

      (And before someone comments on how this is OBVIOUSLY meant to be a joke/satire/funny…no. It’s really not any of those things. Sorry.)

      • JenH1986

        It might have started that way, but it definitely went left of center.

    • Courtney

      Hate to break it to ya, but Karlie Kloss is still employed by Victoria’s Secret. In fact, she’s the face of the re-launch of their fragrance. And Miley actually had a serious reason for her hospital stay, but yes, you sound like a very genuine and gracious person for calling her out on it.

      So, maybe do your research before writing an article insulting women based on the length of their hair?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      In the words of the immortal Ray J, I just want to point out that I HAD IT FIRST.

    • CMJ

      This is weirdly….mean? I RARELY say this – but I really don’t understand the meanness in this post. The first part of this actually sounds like those MRA articles over on Thought Catalog about short hair.

    • FemelleChevalier

      There’s a thin line between sarcastic satire and simply being catty/snarky. Aaannnddd I think you went overboard that it became a tad mocking (The “Haha! They look silly!” is such a lazy humor).

      It was funny at first, though. But then it escalated quickly. Better luck next time, I guess.

    • JennyWren

      I thought this might be a pretty interesting article at first. It’s true that if you get bored of a pixie cut, it’s a long, weird road to get it back to a sufficient length that looks like you purposefully cut it that way again. But just because you get bored of a pixie cut doesn’t mean it’s “ugly” in the first place.
      Bad show, Gloss, bad show.

    • Renee

      As a teenager with short hair (proudly so as well) I can’t help but find this post to be incredibly nasty. Yes, some people regret cutting their hair short, but I for one love having short hair. And saying that it’s unfeminine? Ridiculous.

    • Alexis H

      Fat shaming is out, but hair shaming is still in? This doesn’t really follow the female-positive attitude of most Gloss posts.

    • Samantha

      “There’s nothing to do with short hair”? Just because you don’t know how to style your hair doesn’t mean nobody can
      “Sick of mistaken for a boy” You can look quite feminine with a shortcut, if you don’t is because you have more of a man-like face features and bodyshape. And even if you do look like a man is that suppoused to be some kind of an insult?

      Whoever wrote this is quite rude and lacks of taste

    • bossbitch

      This post sucks :)
      It’s like society telling us that cutting our hair is a big mistake. Learn to grow up people.