• Mon, May 5 - 7:46 am ET

Kim And Kanye Got Married, So Make Sure To Dress Appropriately For The Apocalypse Today

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are officially married after getting their marriage license this weekend in California, according to someone who knows the two. The two married in a simple courthouse wedding with a few witnesses and little fanfare, and are looking forward to celebrating privately. Just kidding. I couldn’t even type that sentence with a straight face.

According to the rumor mill, the couple will have a lavish ceremony in Paris on May 24, but due to some residency issues would not be able to have a legal ceremony in France. So they went and signed the paperwork in America this weekend and went back to planning their big day.

You might remember that Kardashian told Vogue their wedding would be smaller than we’re all thinking:

“People are probably assuming we’re going to have this massive wedding, and I think it will be – but intimate. Two hundred people – just all of our closest friends – a special night for us and all the people that really love us and that have supported us.”

Two hundred people count as intimate? Their closest friends? I don’t think I even hate 200 people, let alone consider 200 people to be my inner circle. But then again, I am not as universally adored as Kardashian and West.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty much beyond accepting that Kardashian and West are actually married to each other. I remember watching a Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode years and years ago that showed Kim and Kanye hanging out as “just friends,” and thinking “wow, this is the famewhore pairing of a lifetime.” I never in my life thought they’d actually get together, make a cute baby, and get married, but the world is full of surprises. I’m really pulling for these two, and I think they could possibly even live happily ever after in a mansion full of mirrors.

Photo: Eugene Gologursky/Getty Images

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  • Samantha Escobar

    In what world is 200 “intimate”? I mean, yes, by comparison to her viewing audience, sure, but otherwise that is at least three times as many people as I want at my own wedding someday.

  • Colleen

    Unless we elope, we will have about 200-250 at our wedding…90% of that will be FAMILY. I wouldn’t call it intimate, but it is what it is.

  • Olivia Wilson

    If I’m being honest, I don’t think I even know 200 people.

  • dy

    she has a sex tape. she doesn’t know the meaning of the word “intimate”….

  • whiteroses

    They’re both masters of the “look at me look at me look at me look at me oh wait I don’t want you to look at me because I deserve privacy look at me look at me”. I mean, best of luck to them, but the day they both stop being relevant to the larger American public is also the day we get smarter as a nation.